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Do you feel like you’re stuck in a rut? That your life is controlling you, rather than you controlling your own life? Accomplished real estate investor Kyle Miller once felt that way too.

In this episode, we discuss how he took back control of his life and the habits and mindset shifts that contributed to the success he has had so far.

Show Highlights Include:

  • The one simple step you must take to destroy impostor syndrome (2:43)
  • Turn your commute from waste to the most valuable part of your day (11:12)
  • Not making this mindset shift is costing you hard-earned cash (12:00)
  • How to make the universe bring the right people directly to you (16:55)

Are you picking up what Jonathan’s laying down? Then go to wherever you listen to podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave a 5-star review.

Read Full Transcript

No don't go in there, Daddy's working.

You are listening to the show for dadpreneurs who want to have it all. Each week, you'll see how you can have harmony in the four pillars of purpose - family, faith, fitness and finances.

Jonathan: Welcome back, daddies, to another edition in the new year. I'm so glad that you guys are back and listening to me. I know it's only one or two of you. Guys keep telling me that I need to do a better job of marketing this and I will maybe do it, but it's so hard doing a show. It's so hard doing a show all by yourself, marketing it and getting people to listen and even coming up with topics. That's why every once in a while I get lucky and I get a good guest to join us. Another dadpreneur who is finding that balance. [0:01:04.3]

Oh wait, balance - I don’t like "balance." Finding that harmony in family, faith, finances and fitness today. Today folks, I've got a special treat for you. He is a friend that I met at very high level mastermind and I'm talking we put big money to be in a room together, so that's how you know this guy is a baller. He's a farmer, ex-college football player, National Guardsman, and he has rehabbed and sold hundreds - I said "hundreds" - hundreds of homes and he worked on a lot of them with his own hands. We're going to dive into all of that today with Mr. Kyle Miller. What is up, brother?

Kyle: Hey, how you doing? Thanks for having me on.

Jonathan: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were actually having an interesting conversation because see, this is going to air, I know we are recording way ahead, but this thing's going to air at the beginning of 2020 and we're recording in 2019. [0:02:02.8]

It's a little time travel here. I put a call to the DM Family members - who wanted to be on the show; who was a dad; who wanted to talk about harmony in family, faith, fitness, finances. It took you months…months - to just come out of nowhere and finally say, "Hey, can I take you up on that?" Why was that, bro?

Kyle: Well, it's just I think, I mean everybody goes through it but for me, it was I didn't feel like I was enough and felt like I had enough stuff I could share. I didn't feel like I had things that could be beneficial for other people to talk about. I don't know - I just didn't…I guess I didn't have the confidence in myself in this arena.

Jonathan: How is that possible, bro? Because the mastermind that we're in is ballers only. You can't just get in there. You have to be invited and then you have to stroke a big multiple tens of thousands of dollars check and you're telling me you still have this impostor syndrome?

Kyle: Yeah. Absolutely. I always feel like there's something that's going to come up and people are going to figure out that I don’t everything, you know. [0:03:02.2]

Sometimes I'm going through this life going, shit - I don’t know what I'm doing, let's just keep going. I'm learning stuff everyday and I don’t have all the answers. So yeah, it was intimidating. It was just something new for me. But then I sat back and I did what I do in life and everything, and I just say you know what, just go for it. Who cares. If you fall flat on your face, you do it and you'll learn and just keep moving.

Jonathan: I mean seriously, Kyle, what's the worst that could happen?

Kyle: Yeah. What's the worst that could happen? I meet new friends?

Jonathan: You're protected on the other side of a computer screen. What is going to happen?

Kyle: Yeah.

Jonathan: Let's talk about this journey. You've been all over the place and you've really dialed in your real estate business, but how, I mean how did you get into the real estate business because what I've found is when I've had other DM guys, the feedback I get is like oh, that's so cool, that's so cool. Let's start there with the real estate piece. How did you get started there? Was this something that you were just bred into real estate or what? [0:04:02.8]

Kyle: No. So, I guess my story, I grew up in a…I'm in Charlottesville, VA; that's where I live, right outside anyway. I grew up kind of during that construction boom of late 90s, early 2000s and then through 2007. So my step-father, he's a realtor, so I've always kind of known about it as far as real estate. He's been a, just, you know, just on the sales side, just commissions and things like that, his own broker. So, I had an understanding of how the process went and things sold, but during the summers on my breaks and things like that, I had a job working construction. So I started learning the construction aspect of it as well, summer from college and things like that. So, I kind of what melded those two together and that's how I kind of got into it, but it wasn’t the journey I first started on. I wanted to be a strength conditioning coach and then when I realized that waking up at 4 a.m. when I was at Memphis - I was at the University of Memphis working on my Masters degree and I was waking up at 4 a.m. to get up to be at the gym by 5 to get everything ready for the first workout at 6. [0:05:09.6]

When I was walking outside, literally, it was probably 30 yards to the vehicle from the front door and I would go outside and start sweating. I would literally leave the front door and start sweating by the time I got to the car and I was like what am I doing? And I was like, this is not the life that I want and then I'd leave the gym that night at like 6:30, 7 o'clock. So I kept playing it in my head, I was like, this isn't the life that I want. This isn't the life that I envisioned myself having and being able to create for myself. I want to have a family. I want to have free time. I want to have travel. I don’t want to sit here and just be in the gym all the time. I was in great shape, you know, lifting all the time, but that's not the life that I wanted. So I left there. I went to Boston. I thought personal training would be better, thought I'd have a little bit more free time, but then I just realized I was dealing with people that didn't really want to work out and I was the cheerleader. [0:06:01.8]

That's not really what I wanted to do either. I didn't want to bribe people, like come on, wake up - we have got to work out. That just wasn’t one of my things that I wanted to do. I've always been like a go-getter, get out of my way, I want to make things happen. And just doing that just wasn’t, it didn't vibe with me. It wasn’t sitting well. So I came back to Charlottesville and that's…I got my real estate license and again, I got my real estate license in '09, so you know, we were selling a ton of houses in '09. Yeah. I think I did like seven sales a month. I would see these houses and go man, I could buy this, turn around and I know what things are worth - I know what it would sell for and it just…so I did that for like six, seven months of just basically virtually in my head going, oh, I would buy that at this number and it's going to take x amount to rehab - it would sell for whatever the number. I would just do this and watch it go and happen and I was like, man, I got this. So then I just went full…jumping with both feet in, full-fledged, went out and bought a house to renovate and start. [0:07:05.1]

I did all the work myself. I made like $3000. I didn't even pay myself. So it was actually I lost money on that one. I think that year, because I put so much time and energy into that one flip that I was doing, I had a couple of other sales things. I made like…that whole year I made $17,000.

Jonathan: Good grief, man.

Kyle: Yeah. So, it was nothing. Thank God my wife, she did. She supported my ass.

Jonathan: She carried you through that. Yeah and I find that common and it's funny - I have a similar thing where I wasn’t in real estate. I was in that boom of '04, '05, '06 and you know, things were going great and then I lost my ass and if it wasn’t for my wife, I don’t think I…well I know I wouldn’t have made it. I probably would have went back into construction. Do you think that knowledge, because you said that you had that construction knowledge, you did the work on that first house, do you think that helped you or hindered you in any way in that first deal? [0:08:03.9]

Kyle: I mean, obviously I think it did both, to be honest with you. I kind of already knew a little bit of the construction aspect of it, but just getting into it and then putting out a finished product for a client. That's where I think the biggest lesson was, as far as the end product for myself because I had never finished a product. For the summers that I worked, it was always kind of like framing and I'd never actually finished a project. So that was, I think, the biggest learning curve and then realizing that that…if I wanted to make any money, that that probably wasn’t the right way to go about doing it. So I think I learned both on that transaction. You know, it was more of like a high-paying job almost.

Jonathan: No, it wasn’t. It was not high paying. It was a crappy job with a crappy boss. The reason I ask you that is because I, before I got into real estate, I was an electrician. I had that worker mentality and when I started flipping properties in the beginning, I would go find a deal. Then I would buy the deal and finance the deal. Then I would strap on my tools and go inside and work on the deal and then when I was done with that, I would go out and market the deal and negotiate the deal and sell it and I felt… now, it's easy to see now that I should have just been like you sitting in that office, that pretty office with the collared shirt instead of wearing a tee shirt and jeans and tool pouch, you know. [0:09:25.8]

Kyle: Well now it's the collared shirt. Back then, you know, it was the Carhart's.

Jonathan: Carhart's. Yep. They're…yeah, man. I feel like that blue collar mentality carried over and held me back and it, like you said, wasn’t a great paying job. What lessons did you take into your second flip after that or how long did it take you to do the next one?

Kyle: During that process, I met an individual that we started working together and we were really, that's where I really kind of honed in my marketing aspects and my skills there as far as finding more properties and then being able to wholesale and I didn't do a flip, per se, of my own for a little bit. We just wholesaled. [0:10:05.4]

Then it was just around the construction aspect of it. Every now and again, me and my partner. I didn't personally do the flips. My partner would manage them. So I learned a little bit through his stuff. Then just, you know, progressed and progressed and always tried to be around people that are better than me. So I always try to be like the dumbest guy in the room. That's what I strive to be, you know. I think I've reached it right now. I always learn. I always feel like there's guys that are just so much better than me, so far along and I don’t compare, you know. That's where I think I sort of get in trouble - I start comparing. Everybody's got their own journey, so.

Jonathan: Yeah, yeah. Did you take courses? Did you get mentors? How did you learn about this wholesaling thing because that's an underground thing that real real estate investors know about, but average civilians don’t.

Kyle: So what was that - what year was that, '08, '09…so I bought my first flip in '11. YouTube was starting to come up in 2011. There was starting to be people putting stuff out on YouTube and Google and I jumped on. [0:11:02.7]

I found Sean Terry and during that process. So I found him and was able to just… I just listened to all of his podcasts and things that he put out and really just, I drive into my National Guard duties and stuff. That's all I would have. I wouldn't be listening to music. I'd just have my headphones in and just listening to strategy and mindset stuff on how to overcome that or how to get better, how to improve. That's what I really started doing and that's…I guess that's how I learned how the wholesaling and everything, you know, progressed learning that.

Jonathan: How important is mindset? I hear you mentioning mindset. What …I mean, what kind of mindset did you come into the game with and where are you today?

Kyle: Well, I always felt like I could do it all. Right? Oh, I can do anything I want. If I set my mind to it, I can do it. And I can. But the mindset that I needed to switch was that I don’t have to do all the work. I need to position myself where I'm getting a lot of work done, but I'm not necessarily doing the work, if that makes sense. That was the mindset. [0:12:01.0]

Jonathan: How do you do that? How did you realize that? I mean, was it outside influences? Was it that you were burnt out, tired and beat up? How did you realize that?

Kyle: All of the above because on that first flip, I bought that first flip on August, I mean April 6th of 2011 and why it's so ingrained in my head that I bought it on that day was that on April 7th at 3:45 in the morning, my wife wakes up and she goes, "We're having a baby today." And so, that was kind of like oh, oh, we have got to definitely make this happen. So I took the next couple of days, you know, off away from the flip and then I'm like, man…I was constantly thinking about it. I was constantly in there because I was the one doing all the work. I was literally in the delivery room with my fucking computer (sorry) my computer out, trying to figure stuff out. That's how I was. I realized I wasn’t there for her as much as I should have been and I regret that aspect of it. [0:13:00.5]

But I learned from that and realized, you know what, Kyle - if you would have had somebody in place, if you would have had a general contractor in place, if you would have budgeted for the contractor, you did all the numbers but you didn't put any…you knew the construction aspect as far as the materials and everything goes, but you didn't budget for anybody doing any of the work. I was going to do it. I would have been better off negotiating the deal. I would have learned that you know what - it probably wasn’t a fricking deal anyway. I was just so excited to have something in writing and exciting in a project to work on that I overpaid for the deal. So all of those lessons, cumulative, was just like you know, you can't do this. Just like I was sitting in the gym at 6 a.m. and leaving at 6:30, going I don’t want my life to be this way. I don’t want to live my life like this. So I think that's just the main driver for me is just like I don’t want to keep doing this. I will do it once, do it twice maybe, you know, depending on what it is. But I don’t want my life to be like this so I have to change. So how do I change? Who knows how to do this better and that's, I mean, that's eventually what made me…the gentleman that runs the group that we're in, Mark, that led me to him. How do I change? How do I change? I'm always like how do I get better - how do I get better? That's the reoccurring question that happens in my head, "How do I get better," and then just keep, keep going. So I think that answers the question. [0:14:16.1]

Jonathan: Does that mean that you're never satisfied because you keep thinking how do I get better?

Kyle: Yeah. It's a double edge sword, right, but then I had kids. So I have two boys, 8 and 5, and they've kind of taught me a little bit of being okay with different things. You know, I'm always trying to be better but I'm proud of what I've accomplished. I am able to look back. I was sitting there looking at my son last night and he's 8 years old. I'm like, shit, he's halfway to 16 and like it just seems like yesterday we had him and like how much he's grown, you know and I'm thankful for the times that we have had. Every time we're together, I try to make it a moment or try to have those times together so I don’t miss that, I guess, and just be present. So I've learned how to do that too. Like when I'm there, be present, but then I heard somebody say be…and I'm probably going to screw this up - yeah, I'm going to screw it up so I'm not even going to try.

Jonathan: Come on. [0:15:11.9]

Kyle: Be…what does he say…be, be… I can't… I think it's LMF. He says it. Something about being dissatisfied or satisfied or…I don't know…I can't remember what exactly he says but I'm not like disappointed or I'm not angry or I'm … I guess that's the wrong way to say it, but I'm always, I'm happy for the moments before the learning experiences, but I'm always looking to get better and I just think that's what it is, for me. I'm happy for the experience. I learned. I enjoyed it. I was present and then move on and we have got to get better. How do we get better, though, and not be…you know, not be upset with not being the best because I was the best I was yesterday. Today, I'm going to be better than that.

Jonathan: Yeah, I love that. That's something I write in my journal often - be the best version of myself every single day. [0:16:01.3]

Whatever I'm comparing it to has got to be, first of all, I'm comparing to me and I'm comparing to me yesterday and that's how I stay in that perpetual growth mode. So I know exactly what you're saying. Let's talk a little bit…let's see which direction I want to go. There's two things that you mentioned there that I want to explore more. Let's first talk about finding the right people because I haven’t had him on the show yet, but we have talked about Mark Evans, DM quite a bit. How'd you find your way to him and how did you know he was the guy that you wanted to connect with?

Kyle: You know what? I believe that the universe, whatever you put yourself, you know whatever you think, I believe the universe provides. So I don’t know how I met up with Mark. I don't know - it was on social media but I don’t know how I crossed his path. I don't know how it happened, but I believe that the universe just provides for you. I think that life happens for you and not to you. So, it must have been the thoughts that I was thinking. It must have been all that cumulative of what I wanted in life and then someone Mark showed up. So that…I can't explain it - I don't know. I didn't go searching for him. [0:17:01.5]

He just was there and then so I just started following him and listening to him and I connected with what he was saying. Talked to a couple of guys, attended some of his events and knew him and then just reached out and just said, hey, let's connect.

Jonathan: How do you stroke that big check? Most people would consider it a big check. Was that scary or what? Have you done other masterminds?

Kyle: Yeah. I've been involved with other masterminds, but nothing to this extent. If you look at it like this, if you buy $5000 houses and they're only worth 15, you can only make so much. But if you buy $300,000 houses and the ceiling is much higher, you can make a lot more. So I feel like, yeah, it's an investment for me. It's like okay, it is - it's scary. It's like okay, here we go. I'm writing those numbers out. It was a little scary and especially the first time. So I reupped for the second time. So that's another, you know, chunk in there. Then it is, but the value and just the mindset that he created, I just want to be around more positive powerful influencers of my mind. [0:18:00.7]

That's the…and I think that's what I try to do. You know? I don’t know how to explain it or it is scary but I just, I try to invest in myself because that's one of the things I think is the best investment is myself. I've literally laid in bed going, alright - if I lost everything, if they took everything away from me right now, if I just… if it was all gone, drop me in some other country or whatever, maybe not some other country, but somewhere in the United States that I don’t know a single soul, could I do it? And I think the answer is yes. Because I'm…

Jonathan: Why?

Kyle: I know what to do. I have had the experience. I have learned the process. I've learned everything that needs to go involved with that. So it's not like, it's not anything crazy, you know. I know one the mindset and I know I can do it. I have that belief that I can do it. So there's no other thoughts really. There's no question. Just put me in there and let's go.

Jonathan: Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Kyle: I went to college. I went to college and didn't know a single soul. Just put me in there and let's go. I will figure it out.

Jonathan: I love it, man. I love it. Respect for that. [0:19:00.9]

Jonathan: Well, guess what? Time is up for this week. I know you were just getting into that and I don’t blame you because it was just getting good. We're trying to keep these episodes under a half hour. So we split it up into two. We'll be back next week with part two of this interview. Make sure you tune in then and if you love what you're hearing, why not share this episode with someone who will also love it. Thank you. Daddy's out.

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