Have a podcast in 30 days

Without headaches or hassles

In this episode, you’ll discover…

  • A make or break skill for winning in business and at home (2:57)
  • The secret sauce to getting things done at home without interruption (4:23)
  • What you have to focus on to regain control when chaos is reigning in the world (12:10)
  • How to prevent a crisis from defining your life (15:28)
  • A game-changing way to use jealousy to propel your career higher than you ever thought possible (22:13)
  • Why fancy, expensive vacations can tear your family apart (26:51)

Are you crushing it at work but struggling at home? If you want to learn how to win at home, then go to https://CoryMCarlson.com and download your free copy of “10 Ways To Win At Home.”

Read Full Transcript

Welcome to the win at home first podcast. I'm your host, Corey Carlson. This podcast is where we talk about how successful business leaders win, not only at work, but also at home. On this podcast, we will go behind the scenes with great leaders to hear stories of how they win. Thank you for listening and on to today's episode.

Hello, this is Corey and I'm excited about today's guest Rocky Boiman. You'll hear from him in just a minute, but we cover some awesome topics. He played in the NFL and he also has a demanding job today, but yet he is winning at home. And so we talked about how he does it. And we talked about time management, the importance of time management, not only for your personal life, but also all the people in your family plus your own job. We talk about only controlling what you can control.

(00:49): And that's especially true during this pandemic. Tell about making the best of situations. There's good and bad in all of our lives, but we've got to figure out what is the best is the situation. He's got a cool story. In regard to that, we talked about his new book that comes out called Rocky's rules, and he even shares a neat NFL story that has to do with him choosing whether to be, or not to be prepared for his big moment. So all kinds of cool stuff during this, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do on to today's episode. Thank you very much.

(01:23): Hello, this is Cory Carlson. You're listening to win at home first podcast. I'm excited today. I've got Rocky Bowman on this episode, and I had a chance to sit down with him probably about 12, 18 months ago, and just left that lunch full of just kind of inspiration and insight. I was pretty excited. And then to have him on the podcast to share, he's got a book that just came out called Rocky's rules. We'll talk about that as well. He's also expecting his third child, which may happen any minute. Now, maybe even during this interview, let's hope that doesn't happen, but he's just got an incredible career from playing in four NFL teams, the Titans, the Colts, the Steelers, and then my team, the chiefs. And so that's fun. Plus an ESPN college football analyst. And then he's a host of a radio show here in Cincinnati on 700 WLW so it's fantastic to have you on the show.

(02:15): Rocky, thank you for joining me, Corey. Thanks so much. I like you said, it feels like yesterday we had our conversation, but with how 2020 has gone, it does feel maybe it was 18 months ago. Yeah, that's true. It's true. Well, as we dive in and you have a young family, your busy, you travel a lot, but yet you haven't been winning at home. So before we dive into all the different questions, we'll talk about what is some key leadership traits are that one trade to win at home first that you see pretty easy time management. I think that is the number one thing you have to have if you want to be successful in business and providing for your family, but also providing for your

(03:00): Family and that you're there your presence important to me. And I think you'll agree to be present as a father. It's important to be present as a husband and in order to do that, you gotta have, you gotta find some way to get balanced now, is it going to be perfect? No, I mean, I look, if you're doing things out in the rural world and having successful opportunities and business, you may not make every tee ball game, you and I make every parent teacher meeting, but you need to be there at a lot of them. And I think the way to do that is you gotta find a way to structure your day and have good time management. And you got to find a way to, you know, in a lot of times that means, you know, you sacrifice some things that you may want to do.

(03:41): Some leisurely activities means sacrificing some sleep. I got a schedule my whole day. I usually get up about four 30 in the morning and I can get a lot of stuff done. Right? The house is quiet, not a lot of emails coming in. I can do a lot of pre-work on my day. And I try to structure things where I go about my day. And then I prepare for my radio show, do the radio show I'm done at six o'clock, then from six o'clock on that's family time. I, you know, instead of trying to do work at night and balance that that's kind of how it's worked for me. So finding a way in summary to have good time management and making sure your time is always filled with purpose is the way I think the only way you can have a good balance of work life and family life.

(04:25): Oh, that's good. So from four 30 to six, kind of getting tactical here to help just the listeners and even myself four 36. It's that your quiet time, time in the word you're are you working out then as well?

(04:37): Yup. Yup. Yup. I get up. Get my gym, you know, I usually get up kind of first thing I do is just kind of, you know what, my I'm in the communications business, right. I'm in radio. So I got to know what's going on, like all across the country, the state of Ohio, the city of Cincinnati, everything. So I first get up and just try to take a good scan. We hit my, you know, six, seven websites of information and just kind of see what's going on, get all that boom, go to the gym, come back, maybe catch up on some stuff from the night before and then just preparation and building the show topics right? Every day I wake up with a big pit in my stomach when I go, what the hell am I going to talk about for four, for three hours a day, right?

(05:18): Every day, you know, and it's somehow it's just starts to come together. And and I also got to balance, you know, my role with the ESPN college football, making sure I am up to date on what's going on with the teams and the conferences and are they going to play in COVID and all of that in addition to just the normal radio topics we do. So yeah. Get all that prepared. Talk to my co host, talk to my producer, get things in the books, go to work, get there about an hour and a half early, do last minute checks on information. Right? Cause everything comes so quickly. These days, it changes so much. You gotta be up to date, a topic that, you know, at 6:00 AM, you think is really to work by 3:00 PM is irrelevant, you know? So you gotta be able to think on your feet a little bit. So yeah. Then go in and do the show. And then most nights I try to make a point where once I get home, it's family time, we're hanging out, we're having dinner take going out my son's out in the woods, we're tossing baseball. I coached baseball team, all that sort of thing. No work after 6:00 PM,

(06:19): If I can help him. So you can talk about time management and just how does your time management is? Do you know if you're winning at home? Like what happens in your life, your mindset to be like, yeah, I'm I'm winning this week or no, I did not. I got crushed. And how, what metrics are mindset, things that you're seeing in your life? Like how do you know when you are winning with your wife?

(06:44): That's a good, good question. And I think for me, it's, when, you know, we can find a way to where I know what's going on during the course of her day, what she's dealing with, what's happening. You know, if I, you know, a couple of days happen and I'm like, you know what, I didn't, you know, she's telling me some story about something that happened two days ago and I'm like, I had no idea that went on that's bad. Right. Corey, you gotta make sure you're checking in and she's fantastic. It's tough. You know, right now we're, we're, you know, we're fortunate that she can stay home and which is a blessing and a curse because I mean, anybody who says, you know, stay at home, moms have it easy. Don't have kids because it's, it's, it's, it's the hardest of jobs balancing in our case, a six year old and a two year old, you know, and now they're home because of, you know, it didn't go to school cause of COVID.

(07:34): Now she has the role of a teacher thrown on top of her lap and all that sort of stuff while I'm, you know, doing what I gotta do to, you know, work-wise so I think it's just communication also knowing what's going on in my, my son's life, you know, and, and making sure I'm, I just got to know that I, in my brain always try out a checklist and my am I there enough for him and my president enough for, for him. And are we hanging out and doing some things, just having some good father son time, if I think back over the course of a couple of days and that's that hasn't happened. That's when I got to change some things.

(08:07): How did you manage winning at home? And that was even a little bit before you had kids when you were in the NFL. And because obviously not all of us can relate to the time in the NFL, but what I can definitely relate to, and I know other business executives can, are those seasons literally where you're on and like with football, you're on hardcore in the fall. And then obviously you have some time off. I mean, I know spring training will kick back up and right. Same thing with executives where it's like go, you know, hard at the end of a quarter or he, we got the end of the fiscal year, so we're going hard. And then you got to recalibrate to the off season. So it's this balance between developing your business as well as delivering and executing. And so you have this cadence and when I think of the NFL schedule and how did you manage that? Because there's that that's an extreme version of an on and off,

(09:02): Right? Well, I didn't get married until after I was done playing. And that was by design. You know, I mean, as much as I could, you know, things happen in life and you'll know what's going to happen, but I knew that I wanted to wait until after I was done playing to have kids and have a wife and, and do all that just cause I, I wanted to dedicate myself entirely. I needed, I felt I needed to be selfish and focused on my career and getting as much out of it as I can, knowing that in the trade off, I used to say, God, look, you know, Lord help me to be my best and make the most out of this career now. And I promise when this is done, I'll dedicate and I'll be the good father and the good husband and the things I got to do now, I will say early on in our marriage, I didn't really hold up my end of the bargain.

(09:50): I was kind of used to that thing and just serve out myself. You know what I mean? Cause that's all I had done for 31 years was really, you know, worried about me, you know, am I getting enough sleep? My, you know, I got to train at this time. I got to make sure I'm staying late to watch film and do all these sorts of things. So then now all of a sudden, when I do have a wife and we had a brand new a son, our son was just born and I wasn't finding ways to make that time in our marriage struggled. It really did. We separated for a little bit and but it was then where I really learned how much I needed her. I'm much. I wanted to be present in my son's life and just how much I needed to get my, you know, what together, cause this was important to me. And in that dark time really made me understand. I'm very happy when it happened, because I appreciate it so more. And again, it woken me to the say, Hey look, it's not about you anymore. It's about your number one priority in life is being a good husband and a good father after that, you come third, I come third. So it needed to happen for me to realize that. But I'm glad it did. And things are are, are a lot, lot better.

(10:58): Yeah, I guess let's go. I guess back to that time where your marriage was difficult, because what I've noticed in my line of work, working with business executives, plus just the things I'm reading and consuming and paying attention to any marriage that was kind of on the fringe before quarantine as completely posed. And it is, I mean, anybody who does anything for marriage services, whether it's counseling or divorce attorneys, their businesses up, unfortunately, and as you go back to that time and even maybe since then you've had ups and downs in your marriage, what is that? You tell that list or who is having that difficult time right now? They're they're like, there is no end in sight and I think it's over. What, what were some of the things that you would give to that list or right now,

(11:47): Number one, my number one take away from COVID and quarantine is you got to control, you can control, focus on what you can control and okay. We can't control the fact that the governor puts a lockdown on, or we can't go to a restaurant with more than 25% capacity or we can't control that. You know, we got to wear a mask and do all those things, but there are things you can control. You can control and say, look, I, Hey. So we're normally I would be you know, doing this, this and this I can't because of COVID well, let me find some other things I can work on. Maybe that is an opportunity with a little more free time. Folks have less responsibilities at work. Maybe that's a time where you can dedicate some more time to your marriage or getting involved in your son's or your daughter's life.

(12:34): And maybe you guys, you okay, you can't take that get on a plane and take that vacation you want to, but maybe it's just a weekend trip to a park or something. And overnight you a campground, something like that, where you can really focus on things on strengthening those bonds as a husband and also as a father. So again, things there's so many things we can't control in, in COVID, but there's things you can do to maybe use that opportunity to work on some things you didn't when you were so, so busy. And that's what I would encourage people to do.

(13:06): It was kind of in their own schedule, their own mindset, controlling kind of themselves. I do talk to clients and or even friends or the conversation they get so frustrated with my spouse does this. My spouse does that. It's like, wait, stop. It begins with you. It begins with you, whether it is spending more time in quiet time, whether it is praying that you've got an abundance amount of grace for home, let's start with you first. And once we get some improvement there, well, we're more likely going to see improvement in the couple as a whole. Right? And so, yeah, it's a little bit of, Hey, just control your own self, what you can control and being intentional with your spouse and making those date times. And that's good.

(13:51): And this is maybe a, a little different example, but I just talked to a father of a kid this morning, a kid I used to train when I had a training Academy, he's now at a university of Miami or shoot me, have an Oxford, excuse me, Miami. He plays football up there for red Hawks in any way. If you've seen the news, the Mid-American conference in Miami plays in just canceled their season. So I call my call and say, Brian, what's going on? How's town. How's he, man, this is terrible. How's he going to do this? And he said, look, he goes, we're going to turn a negative into a positive here. He said, okay, we're not going to play the season. So he's now going to take some extra classes this spring or shooting this fall to kind of get those out of the way.

(14:31): Hopefully we'll play in the spring. Then he'll have a less of a workload then. Okay. And then if not, then if we don't want to plan in the spring, they don't be closer to getting his degree. Maybe he can start graduate class. He just listed all these things. And I was like, man, that's it and says, Oh my God, we can't believe football. This sucks. And this is the stupidest decision ever. Oh, okay. What does that get us? We can't control any of that. He can't control that. But what he can control is how you react to that situation. And I just really struck home with me, man, talking to him this morning. Okay, we're going to do this, this, this in preparation for that for better times.

(15:07): Oh man. I love that. You know, and not allowing that the crisis to define us, but instead defining what the crisis means to us. Right?

(15:17): Right. Yeah. Because there, they're going to be so many people that have COVID and lockdown just way, so many opportunities and just piss and moan and Aw, God, I can't believe this. And, and just yell at the, at the world for, well, what does that helping? You're not accomplishing anything, but they're arguing with people that okay. Say, okay, how can, how can, there's going to give me an opportunity here somewhere where the opportunities to advance in my business or find a new niche in a market or become that human you just opportunity. You may maybe an absent from my kids' lives because I'm on a plane all the time. I'm traveling around. I've been, I haven't been involved in their lives for the last couple of years. I'm going to use this opportunity now to focus on some of those things they're going to be, I mean, there's two type of people that are going to come out of there's the folks that waste this opportunity. And I folks that capitalize on the summit.

(16:06): Yup. Oh, that's good. Hello. This is Corey Carlson. Thank you very much for listening to this podcast. I greatly appreciate it. If things that we're saying or you're hearing what the guests are talking about and you want to see how it can apply to your life and you want to dive deeper into the content. And I invite you to visit my website at Cory M Carlson, to learn more about my coaching program, what I'm doing for clients like you and how it can help you start winning boat at home and at work and living in life to the full. So thank you very much for listening and back to today's episode. Thank you.

(16:50): Speaking of capitalize on the opportunity. Now, granted writing the book start a little bit before the lockdown in quarantine, but love to have you just talk a little bit about your book and I think it's exciting that you, that you wrote it and, and yeah. I'd love to just hear, tell us a little bit about Rocky's rules and why you wrote it. And I love when I had a writing coach and he asked me this question, when I was getting ready to write the book, he's like, you know why you want to write the book? And he says, then he also says, what happens if you don't write your book? And I was like, wow, that's a good question. Why did you write the book and what would happen if you never wrote Rocky's rules and Sandra?

(17:31): Well, I wrote the book because again, I think everyone thinks about that at some point, you know, I'd like to write a book, but you know, it comes down to finding, you know, the main thing, which is what, what do you want to write about what message do you want to get out there? And for me, I, you know, a couple of things kind of happened, came together. Once I value my NFL experience just for the life lessons, it taught me eight years of ups and downs. I mean, the highs are extremely high. Lows are extraordinarily low, but so many learning opportunities when you're talking about competing in one of the most toughest businesses in the world, right. In terms of the competition. So you learn a lot. And so after I was out 10 years, but the last couple of years I'd ride a little, just like my thoughts on, on just good lessons and mindsets of how I think people should live life.

(18:22): And I jot them down, write, write them down, write, send myself a text message. This has all happened over again over the last couple years, just here and there. And then I left about a year or two ago. I picked up a copy of a book called 12 rules for life by Jordan Peterson. You heard that book and I read it and it was good. It's kind of out there, right. It gets into minutia. But anyway, I finished it and I was like, well, what are my rules for life? You know, what do I think are the mindsets that I think are the most important. I already had this kind of bank of ideas that I had. And, and I have pretty strong thoughts on how I think folks should live their life or at least suggestions for how they should live their life. And boom, it just kind of a, it just kinda came together.

(19:07): And so every, every chapter is I'm. So there's 11 chapters, 11 of my rules, right? God had 10 commandments. I couldn't do 10. Jordan Peterson had 12, I couldn't do 12. So I put it right in the middle of 11. Right. And every time again, it's a, it's a mindset. So for instance, the first chapter is the mindset prepare. And one day your chance will come. Okay. And I tell the story of how you not always prepared my whole life for, you know, in football. And he's always a dedicated worker or my, I had a great first year in the league, I set a franchise record for special teams tackles in a season. I'd played some situationally, but I wanted more, my second year I wanted to start. Right. And I had a great pre season, but it just wouldn't happen. I wasn't, I wasn't going to be the starter.

(19:57): So kinda as that season begins, I started kind of slacking off and just being pissed off. Right. And I'm like, what? What's the use? Why am I spending all this extra time? I'm staying here, extra. These guys are going home and he's still starting ahead of me. What's going on here. So I started to kind of just, you know, let my emotions get ahold of me and kind of let things go. My linebacker coach guy by the name of Gunther Cunningham kept me in a meeting after a meeting one day. And he'd been coaching league at a time, like 30 something years. And he's like, so what's going on here? And like, what are you doing? I'm like, what, what do you mean? He goes, you know, Dan, well, would, I mean, he goes, you're like, you were always the guy that was the hard worker and dedicated and stayed after and do all these things.

(20:37): Now. You're not what's going on. I was like, well, I'm upset. I just don't feel like it's really, you know, all my extra time is really equating to anything better for me. So what's the most, there's gonna be the same thing, whether I do. And he goes, look, he goes, I understand where you're at. You know, we value what you're doing. All I'm saying is just, it would be a real shame if you came this whole way, got to this point and blew your opportunity before it was too late. I suggest you go back to keep repairing as if you were the starter and going from there, long story short, four or five weeks ago into the season, we go to Pittsburgh and play a game. The linebacker for me in the first quarter goes down all of a sudden, boom I'm in there.

(21:14): Right? And by the end of the game, I had an interception return for a touchdown. I had a dozen tackles. I got AFC defensive player of the week, that week and all these wonderful things. And I remember after the game being happy, but I was, it was more relief in thankfulness. We're on the team bus and I'm looking at the stadium as we're pulling away to go to the airport. And I just remember, thank God that I didn't get this opportunity and blow it right by. You know what I mean? Had I gone that game? I didn't study, I didn't look at the game plan and do all that. And I got that opportunity and blown it. I never would have gotten it game Corey. You know what I mean? I never would have gotten it again. So the lesson is for all of us, I'm sure there are people that are in their jobs right now in their business.

(22:00): There's a salesman ahead of them and you can't understand why and you're upset about it. It doesn't, it's not right. All I'm saying is I believe that you will get your opportunity. It will come. It's just a matter of what are you going to do when you get it? Are you going to blow it because you've been pissing and moaning and this and that, or are you going to, whether it takes a day, a week, two years, whatever it is when you do get that opportunity, because the person ahead of you, those slip up, right, they'll have a bad day or they'll Slack off or they'll move on. And you're going to, you're going to get your opportunity. What are you going to do when it comes so prepare? And one day, your chance will come. That's chapter one,

(22:38): Man, we got 10 more chapters ago. I can't wait. That is good. Being a Kansas city fan, knowing Gunder Cunningham since he was the head coach for a little bit there, did he have the yellow glasses on when he was talking

(22:50): Oh, yellow shooting glasses? Absolutely. And a big, like always,

(22:57): That's a fantastic story. Just, you know, in the context of the NFL, but you're right. I mean, doing, you know, corporate or anything that you do, someone will get promoted above you and yeah. I mean, it happened to me and I'd get so frustrated. It's like, it's like, screw it. I'm done. I'm not, I'm going to throw in the towel, but you don't know what other pieces are moving. Maybe that person got promoted because you're going to go over here to another role. That's better. You just don't know. And, and it's also never on our timing, you know, it's on, God's timing of what's inspiring, but if we are not prepared for a moment, then you're right. You won't have that pick six that you had. And man, that's, that's a cool story. Well, very good. Anything else you want to share with the book for us before we kind of have a few questions?

(23:46): Just again, I put in, as the book was getting ready to go, it was like April. When I send the book and the publisher, you know how it works as long time to get a printed right before I sent it in, I did a little author's note on COVID and just how it look, it's all affecting our lives. And we're dealing with maybe deaths of family members. We're dealing with loss of businesses, all that stuff. And I was saying, you know, this is a book that can help you. You know, again, one of the chapters is no excuses, no explanations. Right. We got to have that kind of mindset. We got to take care of the little details. That's another chapter again, where I tell certain NFL stories, a hammer on a point for all of this. So I just think it's a good book that all of us can read. Very easy, quick, simple read to reinforce some things while we're all going through some challenging times. I that's, the subtitle of the book is a playbook for becoming your best in challenging times. So I think Excel helps some folks out here as we're all dealing with this craziness.

(24:44): Yeah. Well, thanks for writing it. Yeah, because people need help. And I mean, I even know during the quarantine I've had my down days. Oh yeah. We all have. Yeah, it has been, it has been difficult. So quarantine has changed a lot for all of us, as we've talked about. Are there things that you're doing in your personal life or with your family that you didn't do before quarantine, or maybe they're more hit or miss before quarantine, but now you're doing them and you're like, we're keeping this and we're keeping this rhythm. Is there things that have happened in your life Rocky during quarantine that you want to stay?

(25:17): Yeah, I think it's, it's kind of like we talked about earlier, there's, you know, you can use, allow quarantine to break your family apart, or you can use it to bring your family closer together. And I think at least right now we've chosen to have it bring us together. And we, we, we do spend more time together and we're, you know, we're, you know, we do. And we, and a lot of it's just that home where, you know, you don't need some event, you'll need some great vacation in order to have fun as a family, you need maybe a charcoal grill and you know, and some trees, right? You need some space to kind of hang out outside and enjoy the wonderful nature that God's provided us. So I think that's the thing for us is just, is just, we've become, learn how to do more together with, with less, if that makes sense.

(26:05): Again, not that doesn't make some, we don't have to drop $5,000 on some vacation to go have fun as a family. No, we can go outside. We can drive to my sister's house and we can hang out with them. We can go, go down to red river Gorge and go do things like that, that we've done. So that's, I think that's the main thing for us is just making sure the focus is, is on the, you know, the, the conversations in the, in, in the time with one another versus, okay, we're going to go to Florida and we're going to go to Disney world and then we're going to make sure we squeeze in a lunch at this place and all we want to get over and do this. You know, all these things you gotta do. No, the thing you gotta do is be with one another and talk and converse and learn about one another. That should be the focus. And I hope I continue to do that.

(26:51): It's a good reminder. I remember years ago, we, my wife and I were in this private room in Kansas city for a sales meeting, a bunch of the sales team and our spouses and my boss was there. He was older than all of us. And he liked talking holistically. He liked talking about family and work as well, which is pretty neat. I remember him sharing with us that all of his kids were now out of the house and they asked him, Hey, we did all these cool things growing up. We did Disney. We did, you know, camping. We all the, you know, he just rattled all the stuff. They even had some Europe trips that were in there. It's like kids tell us, well, what was your favorite part? We did everything. You know, what was it? And he said, he was surprised, slightly disappointed for all the money he spent on other things.

(27:40): But he said, our favorite time is when we would do slumber parties in the basement or camping in the backyard and Joe, his name and John was just like blown away. It's like we spent so much money chasing happiness. And when it was right there in the confines, our own home, because all of our kids, kids want as our presence instead of our provision. And so it was just for him that he shared that with us. And yes, we've gone to Disney world. We've done some of those things, but it's that reminder of, it's just, it's the simple things. It's the bike rides done, go get ice cream. It's playing around like that. Instead of the big, these big milestone moments. Sometimes it's just these little memories, a little bit more,

(28:24): Very, very well, we'll say the way, how he put that in COVID is kind of forced us to do that where we wouldn't have, you know, we would have just kind of fallen back to the routine of all. I've got to plan this perfect, amazing vacation. Well, now you're forced to do something differently. So you said your advantage.

(28:41): And so now you're getting ready to have it, your third child. Yeah.

(28:46): It could be, we get, make radio history here and had a kid run on a podcast with Corey Carlson.

(28:56): So yeah, you got a season coming up words. It's going to change your dynamics. Some for sure. [inaudible] May not get to happen as well.

(29:04): Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's so yeah, the adding a third one to the, to the, to the fold here and look, we're at, we're excited. We're have a, be our third boy and we think, and yeah, it's, you know, we, we just have talked it's, you know, it's kind of a grind of, you know, you know, how it is having young kids. It's, you know, there's a lot of issues. It's tough, but you know, I'll look around now my six year old, it's like, how'd you get to be six, you know, it just happens so quickly. And any parent will tell you it's just, it, it, it, it should go slower than it does say. We gotta remind ourselves my wife and I have already talked about those times when you guys a little tiny baby and they're crying and they're this and that just find a way to find some small element of, of joy in that. Cause we're gonna turn our eyes and it's he'll be graduating high school, you know? So just trying to find a way to appreciate those kinds of things.

(29:58): It's good. This Thursday, my oldest is 16 and because of COVID driver's license had been delayed and she will do her test on Thursday and we were just talking this weekend, you know, kind of some family dinner is when she gets her license. That means that following week she'll be driving herself to and from dance. And it hit me like, wow, I, yes, I'm not going to lie. There were those moments I would say, Oh, I gotta go pick her up at dance night. That sucks. I wish I didn't have to, I'd rather go meet these guys or a drink, or I'd rather just do this, but to actually hear her say that those, that season's kind of over and it's like, Oh my goodness. I mean, so just as a reminder for all of us, just a chair. So cause they, they, they come and go,

(30:48): The government goes so quick and they do,

(30:51): I may have to surprise her a few times and say, I'm taking you and bringing you home

(30:57): Complain, but yeah. You know, at one day, so appreciate it. Yeah.

(31:01): One thing I like to ask guests is, you know, is there been a time in your life where you've handed over your story, that the story that Rocky was building and you, and God says hand over your small story for a greater story and put your kind of desires, wants everything aside and pursue what I've got for you is there's probably multiple times your life that, that, that has happened. Is there one is I asked that question that just kind of rises to the surface. It's like, yeah, that's a time in my life. I had to lay it all down and go over to God's story.

(31:32): I think it's kind of goes back to, we talked about earlier when, you know, I'm a newly married young father and just trying to figure out, you know, and, and imbalance all the things that I wanna accomplish in my life, but still being there for my being that good husband, that good father that I, that I always wanted to be always dreamed of being, you know, and it wasn't, but it kind of took me, okay, look, maybe some things that I want to do are going to be sacrificed or maybe put it put off a couple of years or something like that in order to do the things that are most important right now, to me though, the worst thing that would ever happen would be, if I look back and say, man, I wasn't there enough for my, my sons. And maybe if I, if I was a little more present, I could have helped them with them a little more with some guidance. I could have been there a little bit, you know, that sort of thing. And been there to, especially early on, there's very crucial early years. So I think that's the time for me. There's a thousand things that personally that you know, that I would want to do and accomplish, but maybe now I say, okay, look, maybe that's something that's okay. We're going to kind of put that off for, for a little bit here and make sure we're present for our, our, our, my wife and for our kids. I think that would be

(32:48): It's good. Yeah. Delaying gratification for one area to focus on again, your marriage. I think it's so neat. Especially nowadays. I mean, when some people hit resistance in their marriage, they either check out and go another direction, maybe it's divorce or to an affair, or maybe it's they stay and they just become complacent. Like it looks like I married the wrong person. I'm just going to stay here. And, but the thought of you, we can change that. I mean, I know even for Holly and I, we've had our ups and downs during our marriage. And, but it takes both of us kind of coming together to say, Hey, let's, let's improve this.

(33:23): I just don't think you can consider what you have going on in your life successful. You could be making all these great deals and making all this money in the business world. But if your home life's a mess, I just don't feel how you could a consider that a success or be even live like that. Versus man, may, maybe you lose your job. Right? A lot of folks are losing their jobs right now because of COVID maybe some thing bad things happen. But on the flip side, if your home life is strong, if your marriage is solid and becoming better every day, and you're becoming that better father every day, I think you can, you can live with yourself and you'll thrive and you're a better person and that situation and Oh my God, I'm making all this money and I'm doing all these great things, but my marriage and fatherhood is a wreck. I think there's a big time distinction between both those.

(34:15): Yeah. Well, it means a lot coming from you. What I mean by that is when, as guys, we kind of look at what you do, Hey, he's played in the NFL, he's ESPN college analyst. He's gets to go to all these games. He's, you know, talking and meeting people in the stadiums, all these cool things. A lot of us guys who are listening and be like, I would want that. But to hear you say, no matter what wins I have at work, they do not offset the losses at home is eye opening to us. Cause that's something I always feel. But then it's like, well, it's work. You know, it's a, it's a boardroom meeting. That's not that fun or sexy.

(34:54): Right, right, right. Right.

(34:56): W we, you know, we got an agreement with a new partner. It's not a nearest school is doing games. And, and so for you to say that, that that's pretty darn cool.

(35:06): But I remember when I was kind of, at first, it was like, almost like my first year I got in the, the jump into doing like bigger games for ESPN. So it, man, it's like what I've worked for for six years or more before that it was happening. But I was going through the struggles and the things at home. And I wasn't, I wasn't like, man, this is fantastic. I was like, this is terrible. I want to be, I should be going through these things and experiencing these accomplishments with someone and with my family, it wasn't near as gratifying. So it took a little bit of a reset. And you know, and those things, you gotta always have those constant reminders of, Hey, let's get back to, what's important in your, I mean, that's human nature. We all kind of, you know, beer this way or beer, that way it's got to continue to do.

(35:51): Yeah. Rocky, what are you learning right now? What are you hearing from God in your quiet time?

(35:57): One of my hair from God. I think a lot of it just goes, you know, it goes back to finding ways to give back to folks, you know what I mean? And, and I feel like when you do that, I've experienced when you do that. You know, usually, you know, they're, the reciprocation is good. Things happen to you as well. So I'm trying to find ways to get more involved with doing that. And also just it comes down to, you know, my kids now I have a third one in, okay, now I have them three. That's going to take even more conscious effort to, you know, to do what I gotta do professionally. Right. And you, it takes a lot of work, but constantly what I, what do I got to do to make sure I'm, you know, still being a part of all their lives and balancing all those things. That's, that's the main thing I pray about. And I think about a lot is trying to find a way to get that shorter guidance that they can get me to, that, that place where I want to be.

(36:51): Yeah, it was good being there for other people. I just heard this Bible study the other day of basically, you know, in the Bible verse, love is patient love is kind and goes through all of that. Switching out love for your name and are you those things, because, you know, as, as Christians, as followers of Jesus, we need to love is the command. And so are we doing those things? And to hear that as like, wow, I don't know if I'm really truly patient to everybody. Y'all, you're kind to everybody. I'm kind to my family some days, you know, I think that's a neat lens. The thing about it is, is what you're here. Hey, my, there for everybody. It's good. Well, it's been awesome having you on the show, Rocky, so thank you very much. How can my listeners find you get ahold of you and follow you?

(37:43): Yeah. So I'm on Twitter at Rocky vitamin 50. Also, you can go to my website. https://www.therockyboiman.com/ has information on my book and some speaking stuff I do. And just a little more about me.

(37:54): Yeah. Awesome. We'll do that. Well, thank you so much.

(37:56): Well, Corey, thank you for all you do, buddy, in your example, and appreciate you talking with,

(38:03): I want to thank you for listening to my podcast. When at home first, I am so grateful to hear from listeners like you, that this content has been helpful. So now I would love for you to pay it forward. I want to get this message in the hands of more listeners. We need leaders to be winning both at home and at work, especially during this time. So please take a minute to share this episode with somebody you think would find value in it, as well as rate and subscribe as a thank you, please visit my website@coriumcarlson.com download a free Resource that people are finding value in. Thank you very much.

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