Have a podcast in 30 days

Without headaches or hassles

In this episode, you’ll learn…

  • How to live out your full potential as a leader at work AND at home (2:56)
  • 3 essential traits of effective leaders (3:34)
  • The subtle way your job is destroying your physical health (9:00)
  • Why striving for work-life balance causes you to fail at both (14:28)
  • The most important habit to develop to avoid being an absentee father (16:48)
  • How your calendar is wrecking your family (17:56)
  • A foundational question you can ask to avoid wasting time on unimportant things (23:00)
  • How the current situation has robbed you of your most important spiritual times (and how to reclaim them) (26:58)
  • How to reframe tragedy to prevent it from derailing your life (33:55)
  • The massive importance of the “glue on the glitter” when times are tough (38:04)

You can get in contact with Tim by emailing tim@seekcompany.com, or visiting https://seekcompany.com/.

Are you crushing it at work but struggling at home? If you want to learn how to win at home, then go to https://CoryMCarlson.com and download your free copy of “10 Ways To Win At Home.”

Read Full Transcript

Welcome to the win at home first podcast. I'm your host, Corey Carlson. This podcast is where we talk about how successful business leaders win, not only at work, but also at home. On this podcast, we will go behind the scenes with great leaders to hear stories of how they win. Thank you for listening and on to today's episode.

Hello, this Corey, I'm excited to share this episode with you with Tim [inaudible], who you hear from in just a minute, but some of the key takeaways that we have that I'm excited for you to hear and learn from is the power of empathy. I've learned a lot about the Indian gram and empathy from Tim. So you can hear as well. We talk about this pivotal story of why he chose to leave, leave P and G to start his own company. The story about a guy named Bob talking about how a mentor in his life, challenged him with this question, how is that going for you and how that can help you as well saying no to the right things.

(01:00): And we end with a very good deep topic, but a heavy topic. Tim has had something very impactful life-changing that has taken place to a family member of his during quarantine. So I think it's something that we can all learn from and help put in perspective how our own quarantines are happening. And this could be maybe a jolt of energy and that you need to keep going. So hope you enjoy this episode. I love talking to Tim and I hope you enjoy it as well. Thank you very much. Hello. This is Corey Carlson. You're listening to win at home first podcast. I'm excited to have Tim Urmson on the episode today. He's an individual I met years ago through just five capitals. He was a client, but really since then, over the last few years had more one on one time with them and just learning his heart for his family, his heart for God.

(01:55): And even with just his business knowledge, he's got a ton of business knowledge from being a pastor who then went and started his own business, which eventually sold it. So he's got all kinds of life experiences that I just, when I'm with him, I just soak up all kinds of information. So to have him right here and to get a share a lot of his wisdom with all of you, I'm very excited about. So Tim, welcome to the show. Thanks for having me, man. This is fun. I'm sitting in the parking lot of food city, so I'm not sure what that says about me, but making the most of the time means you're efficient, which you always are or stupid. One of the two let's go with efficiency brother. All right, sounds good. We'll just start off. You know, as you know, the purpose is podcasts has really helped business leaders. Not only win at work, but also at home, like how do we do both? And so in your experience, what's the most important leadership trait that you've seen, whether in your own life or just others that you are modeling after that required a win both at work and at home. That's a really good question. I can I, can I get three answers and narrow it down to one? Can

(03:00): I start there? Absolutely. So I think one is self awareness, knowing what you're good at and what you're not good at plays a big role and how you sort of affect that time and make the most, both in both places. I think humility is another piece, man, if you have to be right all the time, you're not going to go very far in business sometimes. It's okay to not be right that, so I think that's part of it, but I think the biggest one is probably empathy. I think empathy is the thing that stands out, that I've noticed with most leaders. I mean, all those are important, but, but empathy, this thing where you can walk in and feel what somebody else's feeling, not necessarily get in their shoes, cause I'm not, I'm not sure that's possible, but if you can relate to a feeling, they have, that's similar to a feeling that you've had in the past may not be the same situation, but you know what it feels like to feel fear or to feel anxiety or to feel excitement or depression or whatever it is, if you can sort of feel that with them, because that's what empathy is feeling with people.

(03:56): It makes you very relatable leader. People will want to follow you when you do that kind of stuff. That's an Homeland and at work. So it works across the board with your, with your kids, your spouse, as well as your employees, coworkers, peers, everything. So,

(04:12): Yeah. So you mentioned three, you may narrow down to one, you want to narrow down to one or you stick with those three?

(04:18): Well, I think empathy is the one. I mean, I, I, I think that, you know, kind of, I think all three of those are critical and those are kind of the three that at least in my life I'm trying to stand by now is I don't always get it. Right. So I want to emphasize that those aren't things that I'm perfect at, but I think if you're always striving towards those things, then maybe you know, you're, you got a pretty good shot at being, being a strong leader and having an effective career. And then the fact that it affected home life as well. Those are really important.

(04:46): Yeah, that's good. You know, you mentioned self-awareness and even empathy in that. And I know one thing I've been very grateful for you in the last year or two years is really learn a lot of the Instagram from you and in that of self awareness. So first of all, thank you for the wisdom you shared with me as long with the Enneagram, but how has that Enneagram or just that idea of self awareness, where have you seen that play out in your life

(05:14): At work and at home? Yeah, so the Enneagram was introduced to me by a friend named Christy Kennedy a long time ago. And you know, it was remarkable just being introduced to that and understanding that there were some things about me that I didn't quite understand why it was the way I was and those kinds of things. And so the Enneagram does a great job of laying out without going into what the Enneagram is. Think of it as a really, you know, really detailed profile profiling tool or a way in which we look at the world. And so I'm a seven on the Enneagram, there are nine types and I'm a seven. And that basically just told me a lot about my, not just my strengths, you know, that I, I love adventure. I love to try new things, very entrepreneurial, not afraid of risk, those kinds of things, which makes a lot of sense with some of the things that I've done.

(06:03): But it also talks about the shadow side, which were the things that blind spots, which were exactly what they were for me. It was blind spots, which is, you know, fear of missing out which can wreak havoc on relationships and wreak havoc on you as a person. Cause you just, you know, you feel like you're always missing things, the need to look for escape patches to get out of the things right with to just run right versus sitting and having to face something and go all the way through which, you know, you have to work on those things and get there. It's also, you know, it can be really annoying cause we tend to be really high extroverts and irritate the crap out of people. And so, you know, trying to calm that down a little bit, because we're the one, if people were like, what if, what if, what if, and sometimes people are like, yeah, back off that's way too much.

(06:48): And so, you know, just learning all that stuff we think with Rose colored glasses, I've got a temper, my enthusiasm about things sometimes because of that Rose colored glasses tendency that I have to make, I can take any situation and go, Oh, we can make the most out of this. Right. That kind of thing. So that is a, what is a, and that's a good thing in most cases, but there are some times where it's not. And so you've gotta be really careful of that. So that's self awareness. So when you learn those things about yourself and you step back into leadership, you start to see them and when you start to see them, you can actually acknowledge them and go, yeah, I'm not going to do that thing today. I'm going to take a different approach, lay in, you know, sort of lay in or lean into some of my strengths versus ignoring these blind spots. And so we've got to kind of address those and approach leadership a little bit differently

(07:34): In your career. Is that of a seven pretty much going a lot of different things. Just give us a quick overview of that. Just so listeners can better understand some of the,

(07:45): Yeah. So I worked at P and G for seven years, and this has kind of what started it for me. I worked at P and G for seven years. There was a guy there that I met. His name was Bob. He worked there for probably somewhere. He was 18 when he started at P and G and he left, he was getting ready to retire when he was 54 and a half. So, so he had been there 37 years. I've got answer, right, whatever. But I met him in and he used to walk into the building with me every day and he would tell me how much he hated his job. And didn't really enjoy the people we worked with. And, and how many days he had left to retirement. So we count off the days and every morning he'd be in the parking lot, seven 30, we get out, we walked together you know, it was 168 days, blah, blah, blah.

(08:30): He would complain 48 days who complained, you know, whatever. And 31 days before his retirement, I pulled in the parking lot. He wasn't there. And I walked inside and I said, Hey, has anybody seen Bob today? And they said, Oh, you didn't hear about passed away last night, 31 days before his retirement. And so I went upstairs and quit. I went upstairs and quit my job, which is also very seven move. And so, you know, through that process, I decided, what would it look like to start a company where when people speed hit the floor, they couldn't wait to get to work. Right. I, you know, I coached high school football for about 20 years, two separate high schools and spent a lot of time doing that because it was always strategic and it was always adventurous and it was always competitive and there were all those things involved.

(09:13): So I had that on the side, obviously starting a business and running a business and getting that going, you know, started a church on the West side of Cincinnati. And I'm not, I'm not a pastor per se, actually a horrible pastor. I think I'm more of an apostle, more of a, you know, entrepreneur, spiritual entrepreneur, that kind of thing. So I get things started and then find, you know, really good capable people to turn them over, to, to run. And so when that creates canvas here, entrepreneurs, so we started a coffee house and it started at market research technology company in the past. And there's just a bunch of things, but you know, I get bored very, very easy. And so, so yeah, it's, it's just one of those things that and that can create problems too. So I just wanna be very clear. You can be all over the place and not very dialed in unless you make yourself get down. So some people would just call it, you know adult ADHD, you know, I'm undiagnosed, but that could be part of it as well. Yeah.

(10:11): I love just rehearing parts of your career just because it is impressive. All the different hats you've worn, the things that you've done, it's been pretty cool. Plus, as I mentioned earlier, you, the company you started, you ended up selling and now you're, you're working with

(10:24): The company that acquired you, which is, I'm sure

(10:26): A new chapter for you and everything taking place.

(10:30): Yeah. It's been a great transition. I mean, I, you know, and it's actually been a good learning for me because, and, and I gotta tell you, they have been amazing because it's hard to lead somebody like me. It's hard because I haven't had a boss in 23 years except Jesus. Right. And he's, and I didn't always do it. He asked me to do so the folks at directions who purchased our company and, you know, are leading us, have done a fantastic job of just giving me plenty of space to be me, but there's also an accountability there that that's really good for me in terms of the way in which I do so, and lead our staff, et cetera. So then that's a whole new game for me. So that's a learning, it's a pivot. And it's sort of the way that I do think they have typically done things in the past. Yeah.

(11:15): So Tim has, you had all those different career transitions and I know there are ups and downs for sure. We talked about obviously a huge success being able to exit and so sell your company. How did you manage to win at home along the way?

(11:29): Well, I think that's a great question. I, didn't always, here's what I'll tell you. When I, when I left P and G and I started the business, you know, I was I was an independent moderator guy who goes around the country, talking to people about cars and toilet paper and, and pharmaceuticals and, you know, whatever, it's all kinds of different things. But when you're the only guy in the company doing that, you end up traveling all the place. And so I was gone for, you know, there were some times I was gone 18 days a month and these, this is when my kids were, you know, fairly young and in particular, my third child, Noah, my, my son, I think I missed out on some really formative, you know, there was a two year window that I missed out on and it took a long time to rebuild that relationship afterwards, when I sort of woke up and realized, Hey, I got to change something.

(12:18): And actually it was the impetus for growing the company because you know that wasn't sustainable. You can't be a father and you can't be on the road 18 days a month. And I don't care who you are. I don't care how much technology you have, you know, not, not possible. So, so what I had to do was I had to hire people to share the work, share the load, to get me off the road a little bit and bring other people on who could go and do that work. And so I very gradually started hiring people in the company to come on. We hired a project manager, we hired two consultants, but it took a while. I mean, it was one of those things where they had to call me around for, for a while to kind of build the trust in the clients and then hand them off to, to these guys.

(12:57): And they ended up doing it far better than I did. Right. It was just a matter of getting clients to trust that. But, but that's how I sort of dialed back a little bit on, on the, you know, being on the road all the time. And, and there were definitely busy seasons, but, you know, sort of made a rule that said, I'm never gonna, I'm never gonna do that again. They we're going to be gone that much. And I think that's one, I think the other thing is when you run, you run your own business, you're all you have to always be on. Like, you have emails come at 10 o'clock at night, or they come at whatever you have to set boundaries. You've got to set boundaries and say, when I'm home, I'm home. And again, not always great at this, but, but those boundaries and you have to have accountability partners, Google actually kind of call you out, had a really good mentor in my life.

(13:42): His name's Keith and he did a phenomenal job of just looking at me and going, how's that going for you? And I'd tell him what I was doing. He'd just go, how's that, how's that going for you? And that was as, as painful as him as him saying, Hey, you're doing everything wrong. Right. Because he would just let me own it. He would let me own whatever that was that I was going. I was like, yeah. And that's not going very well. So I'm sorry to acknowledge that. And yeah, so it really changed the way that I approached my parenting. So I was home a little bit more, actually a lot more spend, more time with my kids, spend more time with my wife, all those things. So that was really critical into kind of making sure that we get that. And I, and by the way, I don't think there's such a thing as work life balance.

(14:24): I know people use that phrase all the time. I don't, I don't think it's a thing. I think, I think it's more like Brendan, right? It's this thing that says, you know, you can't control on and off as much as we think we can control on and off, especially if you own your own company. But what you can do is you can say there's a busy season over here, which I'm going to pound on the drum, like crazy on, but then there's a, you know, as the scriptures say, long break or a pause, right, that allows you the Sabbath, right. Sadness that we talked about that allows you to focus, be present all those things. And you just have to make sure there's enough say laws and enough Sabbaths in between the, you know, the beating rhythm of that drum, because otherwise they're just making noise, right? If you just keep on pounding the phone a ton of time, that's not a song, right. That's just noise. But if you have that pause in between, you know, you might have, you know, six beats and a pause, six beats and a pause, six speeds upon that's the rhythm. Right. And that's what we're looking for. That's taking our lives.

(15:23): Yeah. That's good. A lot of good stuff there. I want to circle back to, I am laughing though. You talk about work life balance. I too, don't like that phrase at all. And when I wrote the book, win at home first, my subtitle, I didn't want it to be work life balance, but I hired a consultant and an I, and also a coach to help promote the book and write the book. And they said, you know, unless you've got a crazy size plan,

(15:47): You the,

(15:49): Yeah, bayzos, there's somebody out there, you can't come and put in a new phrase. And so for SEO, for search engine optimization, you need to do work life balance. I was like, Oh man. So I can see did to go and work life balance. But I do. And I liked the idea of rhythm or harmony or something like that. So that's good stuff. A lot of good things for those listeners that probably heard, and maybe felt that maybe guilt or that prick in their spirit. When you mentioned that comment about Noah and missing out on two years of his life, I've heard other people talk about that. And for you knowing you've got a strong connection with him now, what did you do? What was the recalibration you could do for that list or who missed out on time due to the corporate demands they've missed out on year two or more of certain children's lives you know, in their home, what would you say to them now?

(16:43): I just think it's being intentional. I think the intentionality is the piece that is the most important, because if you're not intentional, then whatever's, you know, vying for your time and pulling on your, on your calendar. And those kinds of things, you have to be intentional on. Some people are going to say, what I'm about to say is really cold. And I've had people challenge me on this and I've even had my wife challenged me on this. And, and but when you start to think about it, it really makes senses, look, we put time on our calendars for everything that we do at work, right? Otherwise we'll go crazy. Cause I have to be at this meeting or this lunch appointment, or make this phone call, we'll have the zoom call or whatever. No, especially now with COVID and everything that's going on, man, we gotta be on top of that schedule.

(17:27): But here's the deal. If you don't carve out time on your calendar or your, your spouse for your kids, you know, for your relationships, your peers, breakfast with friends. I mean, those, those things, those relationships that, that really are at the center of everything you do, you're gonna miss out, man. I mean, cause you're just gonna be pulled in all these other directions and they're going to be sitting back there kind of holding, you know, the doggy bag, you bring home from the restaurant, right. But the leftover half hamburger in it and going, this is all you have for us. Right. And you don't want to do that to your, really to do that to your family. And I've done it. Trust me, I'm not sitting over here going at perfect at it and I've done it. And I am, by the way, there's still times I do it. And because it's that gravitational pull to those things can be so, so dramatic. Right? It's hard. It's hard to like go, okay, can't do that right now. I have to focus on this over here. And if you're not intentional, it's not going to happen.

(18:21): Yup. No, it's so good. And then with work, I mean there's KPIs, right? There's this key performance indicators where we know if we're doing well. And at times there aren't KPIs at home. And so we can lose track of, Oh, I'll just get to that later. But I've got to hit my sales numbers for this month. I've gotten to respond to this email in a timely manner. And so those pressures are real

(18:44): Sure. Well, it's funny because you're a three on the Enneagram, right? And three sedative they're efficient. They're, they're trying to use their time, you know, to get as much done and get there as quickly as possible. And so those KPIs and those reward systems are really important. Those lists are really important. And most, actually most corporate executives will show up as a three, but you know, a lot of times because of the environment they're in or whatever, and you kind of look at on site, you know, on their raw scores to see what are the tendencies. But that three is pretty prevalent. I think America is a corporate as, as a nation is more of a three culture, super competitive and all that. And so because of that, that's going to pull from, it's going to always drag our time out and there's going to be KPIs that are going to reward you and applaud you when going home and changing her diaper. You're not getting much applause for that. Right. And and going home and, you know, revenue wise feet, you're not going to get much applause for that. Right. That's right. There's something in the psyche around that, that we've got to kind of press into and find out what is that, what drives that, that was a seven, it's all about experience and fun. So I've got a little bit of an advantage over you with that kind of stuff.

(19:55): Well, no learning a lot about, you know, my shadow side from you. As we talked Enneagram, I mean, I hadn't even do some KPIs for my own marriage and in family where it's, it's two date nights per month. Like that's a, that is something I look at the beginning of the month do I've got my two date nights for sure. Do I have my one-on-one dates with my kids? A little bit of what you talked about having those boundaries. I've had a tournament a little bit of KPI's just so I can tell am I positioning this month for success from a family standpoint? That's good. Thank you.

(20:29): I want to thank you for listening to my podcast. When at home first, I am so grateful to hear from listeners like you, that this content has been helpful. So now I would love for you to pay it forward. I want to get this message in the hands of more listeners. We need leaders to be winning both at home and at work, especially during this time. So please take a minute to share this episode with somebody you think would find value in it, as well as rate and subscribe as a thank you, please visit my website@coriumcarlson.com to download a free resource that people are finding value in. Thank you very much, Tim. What are you doing now in your personal life and home life? Just as a whole that you wish you would have started sooner. I mean, all the different kind of wisdom and experience you've accumulated. Are there things that you're doing now that man, I wish I would have done this sooner as a leader, as a father, as a husband.

(21:26): Yeah. You know, again, you gotta remember the type I am that has that seven or whatever, but it's saying no to things, right? I mean, I said yes to everything when I was young. Right. Try that, do this, do that. You know, let's go here. Let's go there. I mean, they just said yes to every well with the exception of some things that would be very toxic for me. So I've never been a drug guy or anything like that, but yeah. I mean, if, if friends are going somewhere, man, Tim's, Tim's always there always a big part of those things. And I think now with some, you know, with, again, as much wisdom as they come in the short life, but just trying to know how to say no to things like, you know, is that gonna, I think setting a goal is really important.

(22:08): So my, my vision, my personal vision is to add value to every life. My life intersects, right? I want to add value to every life, my life intersect. So if that's the, you know, if I'm talking to a CEO and a major corporation, I want to add value. I want to walk out and they go, man, I'm glad I met Tim. You know, that I've spent time with him or whatever. If I talk to the cashier at a gas station, right. I want to add value. So when I walk out of there, like, wow, somebody actually paid attention or asked me a question that was different than, Hey, how you doing right. That kind of thing. That vision sits out there. And so every time I'm asked to do something or to move forward in something, I always take it through that, that lens. Is this going to get me closer to that vision?

(22:50): Or is it going to take me further away from that vision? Right. And everything's an opportunity. You could say, everything's an opportunity to add value to somebody's life. But, but it's not really right. In some cases, by doing something, you could actually take value away from someone. Right? And so we're always trying to navigate the vision, this thing that sits down, and I encourage everybody to have a personal vision. This thing that sits way out in front of you, that you're going after. And then in every, let me put it this way. The most common spiritual discipline, any of us will practice is not reading our scriptures or ancient texts. It's not meditation or prayer. It's not fasting or sacrificing. It's choosing right. We make choices, multiple choices every minute. And those choices are either going to take us closer to where we want to go. And they're going to take us farther from where we want to go. And we don't always make the right choices. We know that, but, but if you've got a vision that's sitting out and you are always pausing before the choice is made to go, is that going to get me closer to the vision or farther away from the vision? You will learn how to say no to some things and yes, to some very good things. I think that's part of it is that,

(23:59): Oh, that's super helpful. And a personal vision. I too am a big fan of personal vision for those listeners who don't have a personal vision, a few episodes, a go, I put together a framework to construct a personal vision and encourage you. Let's do it. I'll put it in the show notes. But for me, Tim, that was a game changer for me where mine is to connect people to greater performance and even more significant purpose is my vision. So I can use that to lean up against those questions as well. And it has been very helpful that devil's advocate in me and even pushing back on yours, a little bit of that, that FOMO, I can always add value to somebody I've never say yes to this coffee and yes, to this lunch meeting. So it was good to hear you talk a little about that. It was, we gotta be truthful with ourselves of, are we truly adding value? Are we just fulfilling our own FOMO?

(24:49): That's true. That's true. Because we want to walk out going, man. I did it. I did it. But here's the thing. Remember when you, in my case, and I'm going to add value to somebody's life, there's a good chance to think about your family, that I might be taking value away over here. Right? That's not, that's kind of anti your vision, right? It's kind of, you have to think of it holistically in terms. Yeah.

(25:11): Well the quarantine, none of us like the corn thing, especially number three, number seven, as we've talked a little bit about our, we enjoy people so much, but this quarantine there's been a lot of things that have changed. And a lot of it's been saying notice stuff, cause our schedules have been cleared. There's been other things that have changed in our own lives. Is there something that quarantine has changed your outlook on your life, your business, your home, that you just have a total mindset shift. Now

(25:39): My wife said the media today. She goes, you know, we went from you traveling, you know, from time to time and you know, sort of a good rhythm. You're here all the time. Now they knew about that, but I'm like, it's true. I am here all the time and I'm starting to say, man, she doesn't even like me anymore. You know, cause there's too much too much at Tim good going on in this, in this house or whatever. We were in an interesting season corn. Cause we're, you know, we just sort of became empty nesters very briefly and then covert hit, you know? And so we're in here. And so I would say, you know, you know, the biggest thing is you've got to learn how to manage your time in a situation like this. Right. You've got to learn, you know, again, it goes back to that calendar, but it's also, you don't have the commutes anymore.

(26:26): Right? And there's some natural meditation and prayer times built into your drive times. There's a natural, you know, to listen to podcasts or to do book, whatever audio books or whatever, that's all gone. Right. That goes away. And we don't realize that it's gone away. And so we started to look around and go, where are we going to learn? If we're, if it's not in our natural rhythms, we have to be intentional. So we think about intellectual capital, right? How do we get intellectual capital? If that's the way we did it before was in our cars, listening to those things. Right. So you've gotta, you gotta almost reframe that and go, okay, I've got to carve out time, right? When I don't have a commute, how do I carve put all that commute time that I used to have into a section of my calendar where I can be intentional about learning and growing and doing all kinds of things.

(27:14): That's just one example. Right. You know, when you're in a, when you're in a same things for physical capital, right. When you're in that rhythm of working out in the morning, you're doing this thing and you're going to COBIT man, you kind of, at first were like, you're on vacation and nobody tends to workout a lot on vacation. Right? So you're waking up and you're sitting out drinking your coffee and doing whatever you're doing before the Workday. And you kind of get out of the rhythm and that physical stuff. So you gotta be intentional about that too. How am I taking care of myself physically? Am I still getting up and getting it done? Now, some people we've been in quarantine long enough. Some people have kind of found a new rhythm in it, which is all part of it. So I was just, yeah,

(27:50): On that physical capital will actually all the all on intellectuals. Well, it took me a while to figure out a new rhythm to the point where, you know, I know I got a little softer eating, too many cookies and not going to the gym enough and I to my podcast and all that went way down when I had nowhere to go. So the flan

(28:11): Recalibrate on that spiritual, relational, financial, they're all the same things. Get out of whack.

(28:17): Yup. No, that's good. You mentioned the capitals and that's how you and I first met as you were a client to five capitals. And that was, I don't even know, five years ago, probably when you were maybe a little bit more, but as you continue to lead, what have been some of those pieces from the coaching that have been most valuable to you, whether it's the content or it's just the rhythm, what was most beneficial to you as a leader, being a client to five capitals?

(28:44): I think just keeping them in an order and in the order they're supposed to be in. Right. I mean, for a long time, I'd kept financial capital up here. Right? Financial capital was the thing that drove everything and becoming aware of that again, self-awareness right. Going well, it's not about that bottom line, right? It's about all these things repositioning and saying, okay, spirituals got to come first. Right. Then relational has got to come second when those two together. And so Kelvin's actually been really helpful with that because it sort of forces those relationships that are meaningful, that, you know, there's one to one kind of relationships that matter physical kind of getting back into that rhythm. Some people put physical first, right? It's like, it's all about working out. Like I'm just going to use this time to workout and get buff. So I go back to work. Everybody's like, Whoa, look at them or whatever. You gotta have those in order. Cause if they get out of order, you're going to kind of lose sight of who you are. You kind of lose your identity, not to lose your identity.

(29:44): So I talked to when I work with a lot of leaders and talk with them and we do talk about spiritual capital of I've always been impressed with just, you always seem to be dialed in spiritually, but I know throughout the day that may not be possible. So what are you doing to recalibrate throughout that day when you do find yourself getting off track and you're just focused on the numbers are focused on the business of your schedule. What are you doing to recalibrate put spiritual capital back on top?

(30:09): So I got, and this is going to sound very rudimentary, rudimentary, but I've got a couple of guys that I do the YouVersion Bible study with every morning. And so you know, and they, it's a, it's a devotional, it's a scripture. And then it's a, it's a sort of time for you to put in your thoughts or whatever at the end of the day. And some of their thoughts are really thought provoking, but I think doing it with someone has been really cause I'm accountable, right? Accountability can be overstated and overrated sometimes, but I will tell you it's been incredibly helpful through this COVID thing because every morning when I get up, it's the first thing I do. I'll sit down, I'll open up the scripture, whatever it is. And you know, these are seven day, five day, 10 day, 20 day, whatever devotionals that you're going through.

(30:54): But Mandy gets some really good fodder and discussion with your accountability partners in there and that keeps it forefront. And so then, you know, there's always a prayer at the end that says, Hey, bring this to life and bring this to life in my day to day, like show me what this means. Like give me an example of how to lead. Well, when things are hard, right? Give me an example of, you know, what I do. And I feel like I'm unworthy of this position or to do this kind of stuff, like show me that I am or whatever, it's all that kind of stuff. And inevitably there's always some event that happens during the day, but I can relate back to that thing that I read in the morning. And I think that kind of keeps things within a framework, put some guardrails around it, but it gives me plenty of room to play within there.

(31:38): It's good. One of the earlier podcasts and that I had, I kind of share the story of where I had kind of Cod come in and to my life and whether it's audible or not, it was a Corey handover your story for a greater story. And it was a pivotal moment in my life. And anyways, got a lot of feedback from listeners that they really liked that and wanted to hear more of it. So for you, Tim, has there been a point in you've had so many neat things in your life where you just felt, Hey, that that's that time, you know, where I heard God say, Tim Andover your story for a greater story.

(32:17): Yeah. So it's kinda hard to talk about, but we're, I think I'm in it right now. I think. And so I don't know how much advice I can give them anybody on this right now, but I am definitely in the center of it right now. Most people know. I think that no, no us, so there's no secret, but my daughter, so Joanne and I just became empty nesters. Our youngest daughter just went off to college in Tennessee at the university of Tennessee and during COVID she was home and it was with some friends and ended up having a diving accident in a pool and fractured her C-section C seven vertebrae, which left her with no movement below her waist. And so that happened on Memorial day this year. So that was literally two months ago. So a little bit more than two months ago. And so, and you know, when you become an empty nester, you're kind of like, okay, it's our time, right? We're going to go, we're going to travel. We're going to do our stuff.

(33:12): And then your daughter gets hurt right here. You're left in a situation where you're going, okay. Now what do we do with this? Like what, what does this look like? And there's really not a choice, but what you like, thank you. You have a choice, right? That, because again, I'm a seven, I have to have option. She's a seven, by the way, to my daughter, which is interesting. But there's this time that says, listen, there's a greater story here, right? There's a, there's a thing that says, you know, the story that you had planned, that the story that you were writing for yourself, it's a good story. As far as, you know, earthly stories go it's about what everybody else does. And it looks all like that. We're trading that in right now. We're train that and believe in that, you know, there's a, there's a bigger story going on with Ellie, my daughter, Ellie, she's a, she's like Craig hospital in Denver right now getting the best possible care she can get she's away from her family for that because of COVID, we can't be in the room with her and that's opening up.

(34:07): And so we're flying out there in a couple of weeks to be in the room, but she's remarkable. She's fierce. She's a warrior. She's, she's not afraid of what's ahead. And she's working her tail off every day and she inspires me. I'm, you know, I can walk around with my head, hung going, man, this sucks. This is awful. I hate this man. Why did this happen to us? And why are we going through all this? You know, you go through all that stuff. But the bottom line is what if God's doing something bigger here? What if there's a greater story? What if there are multitudes, they're going to be affected by her story that change people's lives and draw people closer to, you know, to their faith and, you know, and, and bring people out of depression and, and make people go, man, if she can do it, I can do it or whatever, just this inspiration and challenge and all that.

(34:56): And I'm starting to see it. I mean, I'm starting to see people's lives being touched by her and I'm going, man. Maybe my story was this big, you know, maybe my story was just so small and what God wants to do is gigantic. And I get to be a part of it. And so it's not easy and I'm not, I'm not saying it's easy. And I know it sounds like rainbows and peaches or whatever that phrase is, but I'm going, he's got, I'm not right. And so we're going to make the most of it. We're going to make the most of this and she's gonna, she's gonna keep fighting and she's going to get better. And we believe she's going to walk someday. Right. And that's going to be a testimony. And that testimony is going to be something that all of us are going to scream from the mountaintops about what he did for her. So,

(35:40): Wow. That's, that's incredible to hear you say it. I knew that story, but just to have you just reshare it and pretty amazing, you started off saying, I don't know if I could help anybody and on this topic, but I tell you just hearing your, just your posture as you just explain what's going on and your willingness to be open. You talked earlier about, we all have choices and you could be making those choices to go on degree, to time away from God and more into this isolation and selfishness and why me, but to actually be responding differently of almost to the point of, Hey, well, you know, why is it us that we going to be the inspiration as opposed to why of us are we facing, you know, paralyzed daughter, but why us do we get to be the inspiration? Why do we, why are you calling us God into this amazing, cool story?

(36:30): Right, right. And remember I'm a seven. So I love to run.

(36:34): Well, you run from pain, right? I mean, that's a seven from pain.

(36:37): Where's the escape hatch I want to get out. Right. That's that's the tendency. And so thank God. He prepared me through a lot of other things that went on in my career. And other things that, you know, sometimes running's not gonna work and just, hopefully there's enough maturity here, but I have to fight it every day, man. I mean, it's one of those things where you're just like, Oh man, I could be out there doing this and doing that FOMO, whatever. But he's like, Nope, right here, here right now with me, we got this and just watch what happens, watch what I do through this. So I'm watching expectantly and I'm seeing a little miracles every day. It's just,

(37:12): Oh man, it's just awesome to hear. I look forward to hearing even just pieces of, of those miracles and the story. And it's pretty darn impressive.

(37:19): Yeah. And one of the things I didn't mention Corey is, you know, and I should've said this at the very beginning of this whole thing, but man, my wife, I don't know, I wouldn't be doing any of this stuff has worked for her. The bottom line is she is she's the strength. I think she's a one with a two lane. She thinks just to have the one way it doesn't really matter. But you know, she has been the one who has, she's the glue, I'm the glitter, that's the way we describe it. Right. She's that glue that kind of holds everything together. And man, God put us together for a reason. And and it's through tough times like this, that, that chemistry works. It really does. And she, she just makes me a better man, right through all this. She's not afraid to call me out on stuff. She's not afraid to, you know, just let me know where I'm getting off track or where my, maybe my thinking is going off. And you know, sometimes I get, I get to place him like, Hey, I'm, I'm pretty wise. And then she says something like, I'm not that smart. She's a lot smarter than I am so remarkable. It was remarkable. So he finds a wife finds a good thing for sure.

(38:21): Yeah, for sure. No, that's awesome, man. That's, that's incredible. Thanks for sharing the story. I know you're touching as listeners hear this, that they are just going to be impacted just by hearing it because you know, this quarantine, we've all experienced with different setbacks and whether it's a financial hit, whether it is a tense marriage being resurfaced, because everyone's home and busy-ness could hide so much of the negativity in a home. And I think for you to share your story, not that it's a, well, at least, you know, my story is not as bad as Tim's and, and, you know, having a paralyzed daughter, but there is a perspective, you know, kind of twist of the arm of, Hey, there's other things going on in this world other than our own scenarios.

(39:08): That's right. That's right. I'll give you just a little anecdotal. And again, this is just a, my own fault, but you know, my daughter I'd be working, you know, typing at the counter, doing my job and cause we're probing. And she would come up and be doing a tic TAC dance in front of me, you know, she's doing, you know, whatever, all that stuff. And then I'm like, just get out of here, didn't stop doing that kind of thing. Like I'm so annoyed brother. I would give anything for her to be able to do that in front of me again. So walk up and do that again. And so if that gives any parents any perspective with your kids, when they start to drive you crazy mad, you want to sit back and really take this in and go. You would miss it. If it were gone, you would absolutely miss it.

(39:50): And so that means if that's the only thing anybody gets out of this podcast, then I hope they walk away and go when, when your, your daughter or your son does that annoying thing that you just go yeah, more of a just come on more. And that, in fact, I'm going to get goofy with you since this happened. I have become well versed in tick tock. So that's, that's my jam now. And so Ellie and I will converse and tick tock sorta as much as I can do it with, you know, with my knowledge, but kind of a cool thing.

(40:21): That's amazing. I mean, just hearing that, that was a challenge to myself because I have done my sheriff tick talks, but I've also said no at times. And so as part of what I love about doing this podcast is there's just things that I get touched by in the whole process. So thanks for sharing all that. Awesome. Never, never done a prayer on a podcast, but I just, I want to pray for you and Ellie right now and Joanna during father, just thank you so much just for Tim and this whole story. And Lord, we just lift up Allie and you promise that all things will be turned to good. And we, we believe that. And if it is that you will be able to walk or if it's just, she's gonna touch tons and tons and tons of lives through this and point people towards you. Lord, we, we asked for that and we just pray for your healing hand on Ellie and just continued to protect Tim and Joanna with just the way that they're leading their family and leading so many other people that they can be the strong rock for LA throughout this whole process. And just thank you for them. And thank you for just this opportunity to share this with, with many listeners just saying amen.

(41:34): Amen brother.

(41:36): Yeah. Well that was, that was, that was cool. So just to kind of close out with a little fun here, what are you reading right now on fire, on fire?

(41:48): Yeah. By a guy his last name's O'Leary, I'm the guy who, when he was, I think he was seven, he decided to do an experiment in his garage because he saw some older kids do it and he poured some gasoline on the ground, tried to light it on fire and blew himself up. And, and and now as a motivational speaker, he's got a wife and I think four kids and it's just a story of where he came from from there to there. And so it's a redemptive story. It's a good friend of mine sent it to me, another business leader that has been reading the book and he said, man, I had to give this to you because I'm about halfway through it. But it's it's, it's just about changing perspective. I'm also listening to an introduction to joy. It's Rob Bell's new podcast. I'm not sure if there's any rod bell fans out there, but it's not podcast, but it's a YouTube video that was filmed. It's about an hour and 15 minutes long, a show he does in Los Angeles and really good perspective to just, just find joy in the midst of whatever's going on. So

(42:54): Which those where you've been pointed to here in the last 60 days in light of everything going on with Ellie. Right? Yeah. Cool. Good, good, good. Next. What are you most excited about in the next 30 days?

(43:08): Ooh. In the next 30 days, my daughter's legs moving, man. I, you know, I'm not hard not to make everything about that right now, but yeah, I think God's gonna next 30 days, I think she's primed to, we were like, so grant expect and like for that most excited about that being out in Denver and seeing her, and we're going to, we're going to head out to the hospital out there and spend two weeks there, training on how to take care of her. Yeah. Just, you know, remarkable, staying in touch with all of these people. Just try my best to stay in touch with all the people I've reached out for all. This has been remarkable just that no, we didn't know that there were this many people in our lives. That's pretty cool. We're excited. Excited about that too.

(43:49): Well, I know your time is limited. So thank you for spending time talking with me and sharing this with listeners. How can listeners get ahold of you what's the best contact to do so in case any of this resonates with them?

(44:02): Yeah, just a tim@company.com. So T I m@companysekthewordcompany.com.

(44:11): All right. Well, we'll put that in the show notes as well. Awesome. It sounds good. Well, thank you so much, Tim, for your time. I appreciate it.

(44:19): Thanks guys. I appreciate it.

(44:25): I want to thank you for listening to my podcast. When at home first, I am so grateful to hear from like you that

(44:32): This content has been helpful. So now I would love for you to pay it forward. I want to get this message in the hands of more listeners. We need leaders to be winning both at home and at work, especially during this time. So please take a minute to share this episode with somebody you think would find value in it, as well as rate and subscribe as a thank you, please visit my website@coriumcarlson.com to download a free resource that people are finding value in. Thank you very much.

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