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In this episode, you’ll learn…

  • Why setting your priorities based on these faulty values could destroy your home life (2:30)
  • What your car has to teach you about the way you manage your time (5:35)
  • The ugly truth about why you haven’t reached your full potential (6:37)
  • What Jesus taught about handling the resources you’ve been given (8:05)
  • The “Five Capitals” framework for getting your life back on track (10:40)
  • How reversing the world’s priorities can make you happier and more successful (15:02)

Are you crushing it at work but struggling at home? If you want to learn how to win at home, then go to https://CoryMCarlson.com and download your free copy of “10 Ways To Win At Home.”

Read Full Transcript

Welcome to the win at home first podcast. I'm your host, Corey Carlson. This podcast is where we talk about how successful business leaders win, not only at work, but also at home. On this podcast, we will go behind the scenes with great leaders to hear stories of how they win. Thank you for listening and on to today's episode.

(00:24): Hello, my name is Corey Carlson and you are listening to the wind and home first podcast. On today's episode we will talk about is your life out of order? Do you feel like you run from meeting to meeting, email to email, phone call, the phone, call, kids activity, kids activity, running around like a chicken with your head cut off, go to bed, wake up, do it the exact same thing to the point where you just continue going and getting this routine almost as if your priorities are out of order. Previous podcast when we talked about putting together a vision, it helps you know the why behind what you do. Using that phone metaphor that we've done before and the idea that in order to know where you're going, you've got to turn on the map destination and then those directions will in fact be the route that you take.

(01:18): Similarly, we want to talk about today are those priorities of your life so that you can get from point a to beef from where you're at right now, your current reality to your future reality of what you are wanting to get to. Before I share this framework with you, it's been a significant framework in my life called the five capitals to the point. So significant able to change a lot of different things in my life towards that and was part of that major step in leaving corporate America from my personal experience [inaudible] and stepping into coaching so that I could share this with other people to the tune of hundreds and then thousands, but before we get to a three common problems that we can consistently see why people are not but yet need to get their priorities in the right order. First one will be, we value what others value.

(02:13): If we're not careful. Number two, we are out of alignment. And number three, we settle for less than. So the first brokenness that we ended up seeing is that people value what others value. Great leaders are self-discipline. They know what they want. In doing that, they control their schedule, they control the activities that they're going on. We've all heard that phrase, if you're focused on everything, you're actually focused on nothing. And so similar in our own lives. If we're trying to be all things to all people and do everything others think are important, we will sacrifice our own selves and not be the best version of ourselves. And I think we've all been around and even been guilty of, I know in my own life, modifying our values, modifying our priorities based on people around us, whether it's a leader, whether it's a peer group, you know, a couple of examples and previous company I worked for, leadership was all about the bottom line.

(03:18): It was all about EBITDA. How much money can we make? Let's obviously let's drive revenue. Let's see what we can do to cut expenses because it is about profitability. I started to even think that way. That became my number one capital that became what I cared about was that financial capital to the point where it was results over the relationships with some of my team members and I was constantly thinking about how can I be more focused on money? And so things fell away when I was so focused on that financial capital. We also know people where their number one capital is, the approval of others is that relational capital. They say yes to every gala. They say yes to every event. They say yes to going to all these different activities so that they could be around people even at the expense of working out even at the expense of their quiet time.

(04:14): And so in that situation, if we are surrounded by that, we can be so reactionary where we are not putting a stake in the ground for our own beliefs. We're just kind of following the masses of what others are. Valuing physical fitness years ago trained for a marathon that was okay, so consuming of my life, but also my mental capacity. And so there's a lot of people who invest in that physical element of triathlons and getting in the best shape and that becomes a driver of who they are and then even intellectually, whether it's wanting to be the smartest individual in the room, that becomes another one. Capital. You're consuming all of the podcasts. You can. Books worked for a company in the past where we have proprietary solutions and we would hope hoard that leadership wanting to keep that so close to the vest and it limited some of the partnerships we did because we wanted that proprietary information.

(05:10): Those patents are not to get exposed, but yet it limited some of the opportunities that we could have had. The number two problem that we see with people's lives when they're out of order is the fact that they're out of alignment. Just like with a car, if the tires are not the right pressure, that the tires are not aligned properly, it will not function properly. It will not function and is most optimum gas efficiency. Our lives are the exact same way. We will be running on empty tanks, not be able to give our best if our priorities are not in the right order. I love this quote by Charles Hummel. Don't know who Charles Hummel is, but have found this quote to just be an encouraging driver. For me, we realize our dilemma goes deeper than a shortage of time. It is basically a problem of priorities.

(06:03): We confess we have left undone. Those things ought to have done and we have done those things which we ought not to have done. Just so often we look at different people in their life. It's like, man, they're getting so much more done than I am. Not yet. It's about priorities. It's how they prioritize what they're going after in life, what truly matters. Third problem that we see with individuals when they don't have their priorities and right order is we settle for less than lives. We settle for mediocrity. We settle for just actually being normal, being like everyone else, running around like a chicken with their head cut off. There is a better way and in fact today I want to share with you that framework that provides that better way. The five capitals. Before I dive into that, if this podcast, other podcasts are actually helping you and you find yourself, you are crushing it at work, but yet you are not at [inaudible] home and I'm here to help.

(07:02): Go to my website@coreymcarlson.com and download 10 ways to win at home. In the early two thousands a book called Freaky Nomics came out and it was about different capitals, different bartering, different things that took place in the different currencies throughout the world. Basically how the economy worked, the founders of five capitals thought a, what would Jesus say about this, this bartering this currency and as they started impact taking different verses, looking at different parables, they actually came together with these five capitals. One parable I want to share, it's actually Matthew 25 verses 14 through 30 it's the parable, the talents. Many of us have heard this before, but when it was actually taught to me in this way and kind of unpack more, it was very, very eye opening. And the idea in this parable is that there is a leader, there is a business owner who has three different employees, three different servants working for him and gives them each a talent.

(08:05): One gets five talents, other gets two talents, and then the last one gets one talent. I first heard this, I thought, talents. Oh, you know, that's, you know, it's here. Here's a nickel. Here's five nickels. Here's two nickels. I thought it was small actually kind of, I thought it was like chump change. However, if you look at the small print of your Bible, for anyone that still uses a a, a paper Bible, the footnote will say a talent is worth 20 years of wages. If you just do the math based on our last census Bureau of 2016 the average wage was $31,000 if you do 31,000 times 20 that is $620,000 that one talent is equal. So one individual got $620,000 the other got one point $2 million and the last one got three point $1 million. That's not chump change at all. We're talking about real money here that this leader gave each of them.

(09:12): The scripture ends up, goes on to say that two of them quickly went and put the money to work and doubling the investment. [inaudible] other one buried it and it says for he was afraid. When the leader comes back, when the owner, the master comes back, he says, well done. Good and faithful servant for those too. [inaudible] provided a two X that provided a double return. And for the other one, they actually got a tongue lashing for being afraid. And so for us, that parable is for us that we are to provide it in a return on investment. Our time, our talent, our treasure is all that God has given us. We are [inaudible] provide a return and we can't provide a return. Well, one, if we're afraid, if we just go bury it because we don't want to take risks, we don't want to start that business.

(10:08): We don't want to launch that podcast. We don't want to take a particular risk launch, start a new division, whatever it may be. We can't be afraid, but instead we need to steward well [inaudible] do our best to double that investment so that we all here. Well done, good and faithful servant. And so that's what we want. And so in that mixed in with the as another parable as well as a couple of verses came up with the five capitals and the five capitals in the correct order. The first one is spiritual in Matthew six 33 seek first the kingdom and the rest will be done unto you. So using this parable as well as a few other parables and other verses, we're able to put together the five capitals. The first capital is spiritual capital. In scripture there is a, an attorney, a lawyer who asked Jesus of all the different commands, what is the most important one?

(11:07): And Jesus says to love God, all your heart, mind, body, and soul. And in that that is for us as well, is to how are we pursuing our spiritual capital? How are we connecting more with God from journaling, from prayer, from spending time in the word. It's this idea of getting more wisdom, more connected, more intimacy, getting our identity from God. In a future episode, I'll talk about how that even can look like with some clients and people I've done life with. They don't necessarily believe in God, and so what does that look like for them and seeing great growth [inaudible] them just connecting in that process, what it could look like. So for you, what does your look like from a spiritual capital? Is that your first capital that you invest in? The second one is relational. Next set attorney says, all right, well if that's number one, what's number two?

(12:04): And Jesus says to love your neighbor as yourself. And so who are you doing life with your life is how are you spending time with your spouse? How are you spending time with your kids, your close friends, your coworkers? The employees that worked for you, some good buddies that you go grab a beer with. From a relational standpoint, who are you doing life with? The third is all about managing time and energy in his art, physical capital. All right? You can't do anything good for the kingdom or for others if you are dead. So it is making sure that you're managing your time and energy so that you can invest into other people. We all have had that too late of a night and we had too much wine. We watched too much of a Monday night football game and so the next day we don't have as much to give.

(12:52): We're tired, irritable, and so how can you manage your calendar, your energy in a way that you can always have to invest? It's also about what you say yes and no to and controlling your schedule so it doesn't control you and taking care of your physical capital. The fourth one is intellectual. How are you growing and learning each day? Are you investing in yourself to get better? This capital is measured in insights and ideas. And so how are you growing in a way that you can set yourself up and your team for success? And the last one is financial. Yes, financial is important. We've got to, our businesses have got to be profitable. We've got to steward our money well, we've got to tide, we've got to do different things with our money for sure. But we also know we can't love both God and love money.

(13:48): So money's got to be in its right place. It's gotta be a result of our positive actions and not the driver and the reason in our mindset to go after just the money. So now, you know the five capitals, we do a much deeper dive in my book when at home first. Also the executive director of five capitals himself, Brandon Schaffer has written a book called build a better life. Just provides so much more depth to this overall topic, but at a high level one to share this on this podcast because it's a framework that has been a game changer for me. Just knowing this order and how to try to live out that order. So I share all this. It sounds so simple. Well, what's the catch? The catches, we are told to live differently every single day. The very beginning. I gave some examples of how we can value what other people value.

(14:44): Well in the business world, so many people are driven by those five capitals be in the opposite order. It's all about financial capital. It's all about how many sales numbers you had that week. What is the profitability for this quarter? Seconds intellectual. It's the proprietary of the product. It is. We have the idea, we are selling this idea of first and foremost and we don't care about the customer. It's about our solution. Then the third priority for a lot of businesses about FaceTime in the office, making sure people are emailing late at night and working hard and caring so much about the company. Second's relational and capital. Yeah. I think we all think we have great friends at work until we stop working. There were no longer invited to the work. Happy hour and the last one is spiritual. Not only can you not talk about God, lots of businesses, it's also a greater purpose.

(15:36): A lot of companies don't understand the greater purpose and so we could walk through different industries and markets out there of how they put their five categories in a different order, whether it's academics and the university systems, whether it's some churches even get it in the wrong order because they value different capitals differently, whether it's Hollywood in our social media feeds and what we're seeing. So it is hard to put the five categories in the right order because sometimes it feels like we're swimming upstream. And so for you it's hit pause on this recording to think through what are your five capitals on your worst day? What do five capitals look like for you? Maybe it's due to your upbringing, maybe your family valued one of those capitals more than the other. It was all about getting straight A's or maybe it's about being a [inaudible] sport, varsity athlete, whatever it may be.

(16:31): Due to our upbringing, we may have those values and we're trying to live into them or may we live in the opposite. We came from a poor family and we want to be rich, so whatever it could be, I know for myself, I can get them upside down on my bad days. When I am stressed, when I am nervous or tired, I can flip flop them. Financial capital could be my number one driver. I'm the sole provider for our family, so [inaudible] money's getting tight or I'm getting nervous. Then I start to think, Oh, what about the pipeline? Are there no speaking engagements coming up or are there enough books being sold? Are there enough clients coming through the funnel? All of these different ideas I may be having because it's financial capital. Then I go next intellectual. I need more clients. I need to read more. I need to study more, I need to get smarter.

(17:18): Third is physical cab. I start to [inaudible] work more, get up earlier, work later throughout the day, and then if that's not working, I may ask my friends for some help and if that doesn't work, I'm ask God and see if he's getting ideas. That unfortunately is how I can live at times with my cat. Five catechols in the wrong order. So what about you? How would you rank your five cabs on your worst day? And what I love about this framework is yes, all get them off track at different times, but we can recalibrate because I know the five Cowboys should be in this order. I get, if I'm having an off day, I can recalibrate thinking how do I get these back in the right order? How do I go to spiritual capital burst? All right, Paul talks about never sees praying. How can I be prayerful about my date in this moment so I don't go further off track?

(18:15): So that is what I find to be so helpful about this tool and have worked with the individuals on using it for planning document, whether it's for a business or for a family to use it to make decisions and just an incredible tool used for a variety of different ways. So if we're not careful, our life will be out of order because everyone around us is often live in, in capitals, out of the right order. And then we contend to value what others value. We could also become out of alignment and we settled for a life less than. So in John 10 10 Jesus says, I came to give life life to the full, and putting those five capitals in the right order will in fact help you live a life to the full. Thank you very much for listening today and until next time, keep winning at home and excited about the next episode where we will start to unpack the spiritual capital and what are you hearing from God? You're unstoppable at work at home. It's another story. Sound like you. Good news. I'm here to help. If you're ready to win at home, then go to Corey M carlson.com and download your free copy of 10 ways to win.

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