You're listening to “Financial Advisor Marketing”—the best show on the planet for financial advisors who want to get more clients, without all the stress. You're about to get the real scoop on everything from lead generation to closing the deal.
James is the founder of TheAdvisorCoach.com, where you can find an entire suite of products designed to help financial advisors grow their businesses more rapidly than ever before. Now, here is your host, James Pollard.
James: I don’t really have a plan for this particular episode. It might be really short, it might be really long, or it might be on time. I have no idea. I kind of think it's going to be shorter than normal. I plan on treating this like a public service announcement because I feel like it can help a lot of people, and my goal is to truly help you. I really do want to help. [00:49.6]
I have noticed that a lot of financial advisors say they have imposter syndrome. A lot. More than you would otherwise think possible. And do you know what? People attach weird labels to themselves all the time. People love their little labels. I grew up in a time that was very anti-label. My generation really didn't like to label themselves this thing or that thing. We didn't like to be called certain things or even have parts of our identity wrapped up around a specific word or phrase.
For a long time, I thought everybody felt that way, but, boy, was I wrong. People love to say, “I am this,” “I am that,” “I am XYZ.” They love to wrap their entire identity around a thing. The reason I'm cautious about labeling myself is because I know there is a lot of power in the tongue, meaning, what you say has power.
There are lots of books about this subject, if you're interested. One is What to Say When You Talk to Yourself. Another is The Tongue, a Creative Force. The Tongue, a Creative Force has a Christian perspective, but I think the ideas are still solid no matter your religion, so please don't let the Christianity part of it sway you if you're not of the Christian persuasion. [02:01.5]
Even the old-school self-help recordings from people like Earl Nightingale and Lead the Field and The Strangest Secret, those recordings say you become what you think about, and if you run around constantly telling yourself that you are something, then you will likely become that. Sometimes people will push back on this and say that their thoughts have no bearing whatsoever on reality, and I think that's foolish.
The way to test this is to get them to think super unpleasant thoughts, like if they're driving, have them think to themselves, I want to get into a car crash. I am a horrible driver. I am getting into a car crash. I will total my vehicle. They will likely feel some resistance to that idea. Why? Because deep down, they know there is at least some merit to the idea that you become what you think about, and the same is true when you apply labels to yourself.
Now, with that said, imposter syndrome is a valid label in some cases. It is real. I'm not going to get on this podcast episode and tell you that I think imposter syndrome isn't valid, because it totally is, because some labels, let's just get real, some labels are valid. [03:06.0]
If you cannot see, then it is correct to label yourself as blind or have someone else label you and say, “Hey, look, you're blind. You can't see.” It just is what it is. If you cannot speak, then it is correct to label yourself as mute. However, if you have laryngitis, then it is not correct to label yourself as mute, because you're not mute. You just have laryngitis, and that is my point.
My point here is to explain to you that sometimes financial advisors will, quote-unquote, “misdiagnose” themselves as having imposter syndrome, when the truth is they just suck. They're just horrible at their jobs. They're horrible marketers. They're horrible at providing a service. They're horrible. They're horrible at communicating their unique value proposition. It's not imposter syndrome. You just suck.
Let me explain it to you this way. I'm going to give you two extremes, because I've realized that pointing out extremes is a good way to get people to internalize concepts. It's a teaching tool that I've learned that I've picked up over the years. Just giving people extremes, it helps them remember. It's kind of like a mnemonic device for examples and concepts. [04:05.8]
I have gotten dressed thousands of times. I put on socks and underwear and pants and shirts all the time, every single day, in fact. I would consider myself to be a professional at getting dressed, and specifically, with this example, putting on socks. Now, what if I came to you one day and said, “I feel like I shouldn't do this anymore,” or, “I feel like I'm an imposter,” that I'm going to get found out that I'm really not that good at putting on socks. I've just been faking it all these years. Even though that's a silly example, it is 100% legitimate, because I am good at that thing. I'm good at putting on socks. I know it’s silly, but I want you to internalize this. I want you to get it.
Imposter syndrome typically affects high achievers, people who are actually competent and capable, but just don't believe it. They doubt themselves. They have evidence of success. In this case, I have evidence of being able to put my socks on every single day for years, and the socks stay up. I don't have any problem with my socks. They work, right? But the people with imposter syndrome feel like they're going to get found out. They feel like it's all going to come crashing down around them. [05:06.2]
Let's flip this. Let's move to the second extreme example. Let's say that I'm playing basketball with professional basketball players. These are people in the NBA. These are monsters. They've been playing basketball since they were six or seven years old. They’ve just dominated. These people typically dominate in high school, dominate in college, and, yes, they dominate at a professional level as well.
If I was playing basketball with a professional basketball player, I would feel like an imposter. I would feel like I didn't belong, and I'm saying the word “feel” intentionally, because the root cause of my feelings in that situation would stem from the fact that I just suck compared to them, because even the worst professional basketball player is still at least 100 times better than me, even if I was good in high school, which I wasn't. I didn't really play basketball. I mean, I played recreationally. I didn't play on a team or anything. I like shooting hoops, but I'm not on a team. I'm not playing basketball or anything. So, even if I got really good, I would still be absolutely horrible, just dog-poop bad compared to professional basketball players. [06:08.2]
So, what is the difference between those two situations? In the first one, I'm actually good at what I do and therefore I could actually have imposter syndrome, and the second one, I would not be good at playing basketball and I cannot have imposter syndrome. One more time: imposter syndrome is for people who are actually competent and capable. I am not a competent and capable professional basketball player, so it is literally impossible for me to have imposter syndrome.
Does that make sense? Does that make sense? It's a mislabeling or a misdiagnosis of the problem. I am going to read to you the actual definition of imposter syndrome from the National Institute of Health. This is the real definition, not what your little coach tells you it is, not what your little mastermind tells you it is, and not what some self-help book tells you. It is directly from the National Institute of Health. If you don't like it, take it up with them. Here it is. [07:00.4]
“Imposter syndrome (IS) is a behavioral health phenomenon described as self-doubt of intellect, skills, or accomplishments among high-achieving individuals.”
That means two things. First, it is among high-achieving individuals. If you are not a high-achieving individual, then you cannot have imposter syndrome. It would be like me having an electric car and then complaining that the oil is bad. There is no oil. I would be misinformed. Bad oil cannot exist in an electric car, because, by definition, there is no engine oil.
Again, if you have a problem with it, then take it up with the National Institute of Health. I didn't make the definition. If you are someone who barely puts in the work, has no marketing assets, and does nothing but whine, then you cannot have imposter syndrome, because you are not a high-achieving individual. [07:51.0]
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The second implication of this definition is that if you don't have intellect, skills or accomplishments, then you cannot have imposter syndrome. It would be like a woman complaining that she has prostate problems. It just, by definition, cannot happen. It's weird to me when financial advisors say they have imposter syndrome when they have no accomplishments. What are you doubting? You don't have anything to doubt. [09:14.3]
What's extra frustrating is that there are so many people out there giving mediocre or downright terrible financial advice. I mean, just think about the stuff you see on YouTube and in podcasts and on TikTok, and those people-- I know you've got someone in mind right now who's giving mediocre or terrible financial advice. That person that you're thinking of right now probably thinks he or she is fantastic. That person is the least likely person to realize that he or she sucks, while the intelligent, skillful and accomplished financial advisors doubt themselves.
Keep in mind that the intelligent, skillful and accomplished—I'm just telling you the definition—those financial advisors are the ones who can have imposter syndrome when they doubt themselves. Otherwise, there's nothing to doubt. What are you doubting? [09:59.3]
I dug a little deeper into impostor syndrome and I got this explanation for it. Here we go. “Impostor syndrome is a psychological pattern in which individuals doubt their accomplishments”—if you don't have accomplishments, then there's nothing to doubt—“and have persistent fears of being exposed as frauds. Despite evident success and external validation, those with imposter syndrome feel they do not deserve their accomplishments and attribute them to luck, timing, or deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent or competent than they believe themselves to be.”
Since I'm a marketer, my mind always goes back to marketing and thinking in terms of marketing and getting more clients and building a business. When I see language like “deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent or competent,” I think “deceiving” is way too harsh.
I pay attention to words. As a marketer, as a copywriter, I pay attention to words, because I want the words to communicate the right things. Because, unless you're a sociopath or something, you're not deceiving anyone. I mean, it's not like you have a 100 IQ, and you try to act like you have a 140 IQ. You just are. Other people's perceptions have nothing to do with you. [11:05.4]
Here, I'll use myself as an example. There are some people out there who love me way more than I think I deserve to be loved. But is that really so bad? There are also people who hate me or strongly dislike me despite never meeting me. That's always been strange to me. I mean, I don't want to spend my whole life walking on eggshells, and I'm not going to. It's so easy to offend people these days, but there are grown men and women who have made the conscious decision not to like me despite never, ever spending time with me. They've never had a conversation with me, never had lunch or dinner with me, nothing. They know virtually nothing about me.
That brings me to the question—this is like the crux of the podcast, or one of the many, right?—did I deceive them into disliking me? No, I don't think so. How about this? Could I deceive them into liking me? No, I don't think I could do that either. I think we all get to choose how we respond to things in our lives, and to a large extent, people get to choose their perception of you. That's good news, because it means how people feel really has nothing to do with you. [12:10.8]
I'll give you another example. What about racism? What about disliking certain people because of the color of their skin? That's really messed up, isn't it? Let's say that other people don't like you because of the color of your skin. That means there's literally nothing you could do, because you can't change it, meaning, it doesn't matter if you truly are lucky or if you actually earned all of your accomplishments. You feeling like an impostor or not feeling like an impostor won't change a darn thing about your situation and how the other people perceive you, because they have decided to think a certain way about you, independently of you.
Where am I going with this? I want you to know that worrying about imposter syndrome doesn't do anything to improve your situation, assuming that you really have it. Mark Twain has this quote which says, “I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which have never happened.” You could spend all this time worrying that you're going to be found out when people really aren't even thinking about you like that and they probably don't even care. Mark Twain also said, “Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.” [13:14.0]
I want to give you a piece of practical advice that I think can help you if you struggle with negative self-talk. I want you to keep a journal or file or something where you document your achievements, positive feedback and moments of success to reinforce your capabilities to let you know that you are the "Real Deal" Holyfield.
Tony Robbins also talks about this thing he calls the three-legged stool of belief as a framework for strengthening beliefs, so if you're trying to improve your beliefs about yourself, this might help you, too. According to him, Tony Robbins, our beliefs are like a three-legged stool and each leg represents a key aspect that supports and reinforces the belief, so if one leg is missing or weak, that belief cannot stand firmly and you need all three. The three legs—are you paying attention?—they are references, your emotional state, and your environment. [14:03.5]
Your references are the experiences, evidence and information that support whatever belief it is. They can be personal experiences, observations, things you've read, things you've been told, or just anything that serves as proof of the belief. The more references you have, the stronger that belief becomes.
For example, if you believe you are a competent financial advisor, your references might include successful client outcomes, positive feedback, professional certifications, your own knowledge and skills, the marketing assets you have, where you've been featured. You can say, “I've been featured in this magazine and in this thing, and I've been on this YouTube channel and people are commenting how much they love it,” just anything to tell you, look, you are legit.
Your emotional state can also greatly influence your beliefs. That's the second leg. When you're in a positive, resourceful state, you're more likely to have empowering beliefs. On the other hand, when you're in a negative state, disempowering beliefs can take hold and just totally wreck your life. Be cognizant of that. Realize that when you tell yourself that you're horrible, you might just be feeling down, and that isn't accurate. What you're thinking isn't accurate. Just because you have a thought doesn't mean it's true, okay? That’s what I'm trying to tell you. [15:11.6]
Then, finally, your environment is the third leg of the stool and it can either reinforce or challenge your beliefs. Your environment includes the people you surround yourself with, your physical surroundings, and the information you consume. Being in an environment that supports your belief, any beliefs that you have about yourself, is huge.
So, think about that. I don't want to spend all day talking about this, because imposter syndrome is honestly kind of boring to me and I don't really have that much to add, so I'll wrap it up now. I know this podcast episode was shorter than normal, but the message is short and sweet. Sometimes it's not imposter syndrome. Sometimes you just suck, and I say that half-jokingly, because it's kind of true and kind of not, and all wrapped up in the same bundle. I'll let you be the judge, and I'll catch you next week. [15:58.0]
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