Have a podcast in 30 days

Without headaches or hassles

In this episode, you’ll discover… 

  • The “30 Minute Reset” that makes you more productive at work while you spend time with your kids (12:05) 
  • Why watching YouTube videos and scrolling through social media after work poisons your relationship with God (14:55) 
  • Do you procrastinate on doing the things you know you should do? Here’s the difficult, yet effective way to fix that (18:25) 
  • Why the devil doesn’t bother good Christians (and why you should want him to launch a spiritual warfare against you) (21:10) 
  • How running your home like a well-oiled business puts winning at home on “easy mode” (25:37) 

If you’d like to connect with Lucas, you can find him on LinkedIn here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucascole. Or check out his animated video production studio here: https://epipheo.com/

Are you crushing it at work but struggling at home? If you want to learn how to win at home, then go to https://CoryMCarlson.com and download your free copy of “10 Ways To Win At Home.”

If you're looking for a resource to help you with these times when your work is now in your home, check out my book Win At Home First on Amazon. Forbes Magazine rated it one of 7 books everyone on your team should read. 

Are you stuck in your business, your marriage, or with your spirituality? If you are, I’m launching the Prioritize Leadership Academy in April — designed to help you break through your financial, family, or faith-based rut. You can learn more about it here: https://www.corymcarlson.com/prioritizedleaderacademy/.

Read Full Transcript

Hello, this is Corey. Before we go to today's episode, I have some exciting news. I want to share with you. Think about it on a scale from one to 10, how important is it for you to get this next year? Right. For many leaders, the answer is they can't afford to miss the Mark in 2021 because of the impact 2020 had on their business, their personal life or their home life. They can't afford to miss that Mark in 2021. So in light of all the tools that we already have at our fingertips, what else can we do to ensure success? We have found that one of the biggest blind spots of helping leaders and organizations reach their full potential is misaligned or mismanaged priorities. For example, when that CEO says, it's all about the people and culture, but yet all they're ever talking about is profit.

Or when that business leader talks about working at a healthy pace, but yet their expectations, you work 24 seven. When you have misaligned priorities, your best leaders leave. This is why we excited to announce the prioritize leader Academy. We recently launched this Academy in Cincinnati and do the early success. We want to take this virtually to impact leaders outside of Cincinnati. This mastermind will bring together a few key components. The first one is content. This 12 month program will be centered around the prioritized leader framework. This is a proven framework that we've used for years with leaders and organizations. Second is community. We all know we don't want to be the smartest person in the room. And so this mastermind will surround you with other leaders that you can learn from. The third component is coaching in between our mastermind sessions. There will be one-on-one coaching to help you implement the learnings into your personal professional life.

And the last component is this will be faith centric. We will be bringing faith and scripture into our meetings, into our content and conversations to make sure that we are all Christ center leaders going forward. So if you were looking for accountability outside perspective, and this sounds like it'll help you reach your personal professional goals, then the prioritized leader Academy is for you. We launch in April, we've got limited capacity. So visit corium carlson.com for slash prioritize leader Academy to learn more as well as some upcoming free webinars that we will be having to do any Q and a to help answer any questions that you may have for this. So thank you for listening and on to today episode.

Welcome to the win at home first podcast. I'm your host, Cory Carlson. This podcast is where we talk about how successful business leaders win, not only at work, but also at home. On this podcast, we will go behind the scenes with great leaders to hear stories of how they win. Thank you for listening and on to today's episode.

(03:00): The episode was Lucas. Today's a great one because we've talked about a lot of things that we think about, but we never really talked to other people about such as why we get lost in our phone. Is it maybe just the fact that we don't want to spend time with God, talk about how our belief in God and what he's doing in life can sometimes drift back and forth. We all stop out there's things at work that we would never allow, but we allow at home such as not having family meetings. And so it's just a great discussion and I hope it is impactful to you as it was to me. So onto today's episode, hello, the score Carlson. You're listening to win a home first podcast today. I'm joined by Lucas Cole and just a great leader, great family, man, strongness, faith, and excited to share wisdom with, of his, with you today.

(03:52): He is a CEO of a [inaudible]. They are a video production studio that, that helps our people understand complex ideas. They went, they had a video with Google way that went viral years ago, put them on the map and it just continued to grow. And some exciting times right now, as they are hiring people and growing, he also is a father of five with one and in the oven and so a lot going on. And, but yet he's intentional in all areas of his life and a strong a family on mission guy. So just awesome to have you here today.

(04:25): Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for having me. So,

(04:27): Lucas, what is that key trait to win at work and went home?

(04:32): Well, I think it's like, kind of like the title of your book. Like I think you have to get the order, right. And if the order is when at work and then when at home, I think you get it, you lose. I think that the family and the home has to be priority. Number one. And and when, if you can start there and it's, you know, it's a challenge to start there. It's, it's, it takes a little bit of a paradigm shift, but if you can start there that, that's my ultimate identity. My ultimate identity is as a father is as a husband. And the most important thing that I do with my life is the, the legacy I leave with my family and my children, and you know, how my wife thinks about me and how my children's children will think about me. Then I think you have a shot at, at doing both well, but I think if you get that order wrong from the get go you're, you're starting in the hole and good luck. Yeah,

(05:27): Yeah. Yeah. How do you as CEO of a company that's growing, how are you grounding yourself or recalibrating yourself to, to win a home for us to keep that on point? Cause there's going to be different demands that are saying, Hey, come, come to work.

(05:42): There's more to do. Yeah. I think one of the most helpful things, you know, that I've done with this is to not treat work like something else that I do. And you know, and then there's family life, which is what we do, right. I've, I've tried to, you know, as best as I can help my family see that this is our business. It's our, it's our, you know, I'm the only one that goes in every day, but it's, you know, the family you could say is like sending dad to work. And it's like the best use of dad's time and skill is to go do this business, but it's our business. And if the family ever thought that it wasn't the best use of my time, I'd stopped doing it right. And do something else. Right. So, you know, my wife and I talk about it, like it's our business, you know, my children, when I, you know, whenever I'm going out through a big decision with the business, I talked to my young kids about it and I've shown them contracts, even, you know, saying, Hey, you know, like this is, this is a big deal for us.

(06:47): Right. And so it allows me, it takes that silo down a bit where it's like, I've got my work life and then I have my family life. It's just my life. And this is my clan. This is my group, you know? And, and, and, you know, you gotta be appropriate with how much you share and, you know, you know, all that kind of stuff. But my kids don't like looking at Salesforce dashboards as much as I do, but

(07:10): The kids is diaper KPI's that's right. Go around and grab your bowl of cereal. We're going to talk KPIs this morning.

(07:16): That's right. But yeah. You know, praying, you know, you've been, you know, we made some big decisions this past year with the business and, you know, every night at dinner, we would pray together as a family about it. And, and he was even funny, even after the decision was made, my, my youngest son, Josiah, every time he'd, he'd want to pray, he would pray for that decision. Now, do I have to be like, Oh yeah, we already did that Josiah, but no good job. You know, like, cause he was so used to us, praying through things that pertain to the business. So, so yeah, I think trying to integrate, you know, I mean that word integration is just so important. Like don't, you know, be very careful when th when there are those silos that come up, be very careful when those walls are there, because they create that separation. And the more you can bring those two worlds together, the better chance you have at, at keeping them, you know, yeah. At harmony with each other,

(08:09): I completely agree. And there's so much fruit out of it. I mean, you've mentioned some of it already, but I've talked with leaders. It's separated. I don't want to talk. My kids don't understand, or my spouses understand everything that's happening. Well, that's absolutely true if you never communicate it. That's right. You're right. If you never shared coworkers names or any of the ups and downs, I've also seen a lot of breakthrough in our house because they can tell when I'm excited, they can tell when I'm not excited and I'm upset. And so trying to play tough guy and just, you know, hide it, it doesn't help. And, but also, you know, if I lose a client or got a difficult meeting and it, you know, it affects me, they need to know that in one, they need to also, Hey, we are going to lose sometimes. Yeah. And you're going to get a bad grade on a test. You're going to lose a soccer game. You're not going to get, you know, top three in gymnastics and it's okay.

(09:06): And it includes them in the importance of it. Like I share it with them because it's important for our family. Like what dad does is important. Right. And, and that's why I'm excited. Like, Hey, this is a big deal. Right. And bring them into that, you know, like it, it gets them more in, in, you know, invested in what I'm doing. So yeah,

(09:29): Here in, well, you live in Cincinnati, but, and since I launched a mastermind group of business leaders to, you know, have them come into this group and we had our first meeting and, you know, I, it was, I was working hard on, on what I was going to talk about. And the fan was involved. We were doing family prayers. And when I left the house that day forward, the individual texts I was getting from my three kids and my wife, I mean, I had, like, I was fired up to go in there because we were doing it together. And, you know, and so that's just so neat. Sounds like you guys are doing the same thing. And for those that aren't, I encourage it. Cause you got a team around you and use that supporting cast.

(10:11): That's right. Absolutely. It's good stuff, man.

(10:14): So you're busy, obviously running a company and running a family. What, what does your typical day look like from getting your quiet time and father time husband time? Like how do you go about your day? Yeah.

(10:26): Well, we have a, we have a one-year-old

(10:29): Who he gets throws, everything else gets. Yeah.

(10:31): And he gets up at 6:00 AM on the dot and he's ready to rock and roll first thing in the morning. So we've had a, you know, we've had to adjust our routines, you know, just, just about with every child, but it looks something like, you know, before all the other kids are up Tara and I that's my wife. Yeah. And Kalev was our youngest, you know, we kind of hang out in the living room, have our coffee, have a conversation, you know, I might read a book that I'm reading, you know, she's reading the book, we might talk about what we're, you know, what we're reading about then, you know, the kids come out and they're, you know, they're ready to rock and roll. They need food, you know the, the house just comes alive real fast. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And so, you know, we usually, we don't always sit down and have breakfast together, but we're typically cooking breakfast and eating a relatively around the same time and around, you know, around each other. And then I typically start kind of getting after the work stuff, like around between eight and eight 30, and I have a, it was my office right at home. It's just on the other side of the house. And I'll tell you what recently it hit me like a sack of bricks. How you know, just how fortunate I am to have this room because I've tried working out there.

(11:42): Yeah. You got your own table.

(11:46): It does not work. Right? Yeah. So like a lot of people, you know, quarantining in, in the, in the epidemic or the pandemic kind of change things up. We used to have a big office space for puffy and I used to go in there. So I usually come back here. I started doing my, my stuff, my phone calls, my meetings, my reports, you know, all that kind of stuff. And then I just, you know, I just had right out that door every 30 minutes hour or so, grab something to drink, say hi to the kids, you know, rough ruffled, their heads a little bit, checking out we homeschool our children. So there's always, they always want to share something they're doing with me. There's, you know, some writing exercise or something that they want me to see. And, and then I just kinda just keep bouncing back and forth.

(12:28): I do my work and I head out there and I've actually really liked working for home for that reason. I mean, it's been, I think we've done a good job of letting the children know like, Hey, when, when I have to work, I have to work. And when I've got 10 minutes, I'll, I'll pop out, you know, and I'll see it. So I try to wrap it up by around five. Sometimes that stretches to six sometimes a little bit later. Most of the time I'm pretty good about getting it done at five o'clock. We try to have a set dinner time at six. So, you know, we know in, in kind of the arrangement I have with Tara is she's, you know, she's got a lot going on. She's homeschooling, you know, four children and she's got a newborn and she's pregnant, not newborn, but one year old.

(13:09): So I always tell her, look, I can make dinner, but I can't think about dinner. Right. Like if I come out of my office and you say like, what do you want for dinner? I'm like, I'll pick the worst thing. It's pizza. We're going to eat it again. That's right. Right. But if you tell me we're having salmon and scallops and asparagus, and it's in the fridge, I'll make it right. I don't, as long as I don't have to think about it. Right. So she usually has everything planned. I usually go out there and I cook things and I like to cook. So I get dinner going. And then after dinner, the, the, the my two oldest girls take care of the kitchen, they clean up everything. And then we usually do something as a family before bedtime. And then I'm by nature, more of a morning person.

(13:54): So about 8:30 PM. I start turning into a pumpkin man. So I'm like the brainwaves start shutting down. And and I'm usually in bed by like nine 30, 10 o'clock. So I do get tired as well. How are you about computer and phone after five? After six o'clock. Ooh. Oh yeah. After dinner. So I don't, I don't, you know, I don't have like a commute home. I don't have like a, you know, a space between when I turned my work day off. And when I start, you know, the, the family day, like I usually, I literally usually come out of my office and I walk into the kitchen, I start cooking. That's typically what it's like. Right. So I usually have that decompress time, like right after dinner and, and quite frankly, I don't make the best use of it. I'm usually on my phone, you know, watching something on YouTube, some clip of some obscure sit-com from 10 years ago or something like that, you know, and this is actually something that I do want to work on. I want to make better use of that time. I heard a cool reason that was very convicting from AWS Tozer. He said I can tell how much gods someone has by how much entertainment they need. And I was like, Ooh, like,

(15:10): Oh my YouTube.

(15:14): But you know, it is, it's you know, it's a bad habit. And you know, I want more God. So, you know, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta pay attention to that. Yeah. What are you hearing from God right now? Put down the phone. There you go. No, I mean, honestly, we're going through a we're, we're actually getting coached. I structured coaching as a family on how to kind of like live out the mission that Jesus gave us, you know, which is to make disciples. So we have we have a coach who's like teaching us how to do this. And and I tell you, man, this guy has been just such a blessing to us. And I think what I feel like God's talking to us about right now is just reminding us and kind of re inspiring us around the bigness and the beauty of the gospel.

(16:08): And I don't, I don't mean to sound cliche there. Like, I don't mean to sound like, Oh, it's like the, the Pat answer, right? Yeah. But, but really truly, like, do we believe that the hope of the world is Jesus? Do we believe that everything we need is found in the gospel? Like, do we believe that, like, do we believe that the hope for politics and the hope for the pandemic and the it's it's it's in Jesus and, and you can get far away from that, you know, like you can kind of start getting into these other strategies and, and all this kind of stuff. And I feel like God's just been, you know, re exciting me about that day that I came to believe and, you know, all the hope I had, you know, for, for things that can start to get kind of washed out. So

(16:59): That's neat as you talk about that, because a little bit of weight, just talk about the YouTube and the toes, your comment, and then here, and then I've talked a lot with folks about, you know, w Hey, we're to go called and make disciples. So some of those disciples are right there in our home. And a lot of times we overlook our own home thinking about, Hey, the frontier, let's go make all these disciples in the marketplace. That's right. But there's that piece of all of those blended together, like, you know, for you. And I've got areas of to, to improve as well as I even say this out loud, but it's like, Hey, I need to put down my phone, not look at YouTube and actually live out, making disciples in my own home. I've been intentional in my kids and modeling what we want to be modeling when we get outside these four walls.

(17:44): That's right. And what I feel like, you know, in terms of what God's talking about, I think the question been wrestling with Corey is like, why don't I want to do that? Like, what is going on in me that I don't want to do that? Like, what is going on in me that I would rather zone out and vege out? You know, like, to me, I think it's a belief thing. I think that, you know, there's a belief that has been that I've, I've let kind of slide. And as I, as I feel like my belief has starting to kind of come back in the importance and in the bigness of the story of God, I I'm feeling myself wanting to do that stuff, you know? And I think that's a good place for us to start. There is like, if we look at our life and we're like, why am I not doing the things that I think I should be doing? Well, that's a good, that's a good question to ask. Like, maybe that maybe you don't believe, you know, maybe you don't believe, you know, as much as you think you should believe, which is exactly where I've kind of found myself recently.

(18:40): So you mentioned kind of a drift away now coming back, can you point to something that was kind of causing this drifting away and then also point to the I'm back on fire. I am seeing God's bigness and, you know, just as overall powers or can you see that?

(18:57): Yeah, I think what happens, I can say this for my life. Maybe it's other people I've heard this story before, but you know, you try things and they don't work out the way you thought they were going to work out and you develop some level of jadedness and you start to, you start to arrive at the wrong conclusions. You started to say, well, I tried that it didn't work there for, you know, this, this must not be true, you know, or something like that. And so, you know, I looked back, I think recently and said, you know, I've tried a lot of things and they didn't, they didn't pan out. You know, I tried, you know, having a community of people that were on mission for God. I tried that. I tried that and it always just blew up in my face. And so I guess just having a comfortable, you know, Christian life is the best, you know, the best I can hope for.

(19:43): Yeah. And then all of a sudden you meet other people and you hear other things and you see that, Oh, wait a minute. You know, maybe I just went about those things the wrong way, or maybe I had the wrong attitude about them or, or maybe there was just something I missed a little bit. And, you know, if I just tried it again, it would, it would happen. You know? So I think that, I think that what happened for me is in, in quite frankly to be, to be candid, I think I approached a lot of things in my life with a spirit of religion. Like, you know, what should I be doing? And then doing them and feeling, you know, you know, kind of going about it, but grudgingly and, and, you know, always feeling like there's something else I should be doing for God or whatever you want to call that.

(20:22): Right. And I think recently this, this coach has helped me to see, it's not what we should be doing. It's what we get to be doing. Right. And that's been a big shift of like, Oh, wait a minute. The gospel is huge. It's amazing. It, it sets people free. It's wonderful. It's the best news you could possibly hear. And I get to help people live into that reality. You know, like, you know, that's very different than thinking, boy, Jesus said, go make disciples. What should I be doing? You know, to, to do that. You know, it's, it's, it's that shift. And that's what I feel like my heart is getting back on fire about,

(21:02): Oh, that's cool. That's exciting. Yeah. You're getting fired up. But a couple of days, as you're talking, I was thinking of is one is to be that just a good Christian, that's easy. That really doesn't bother the devil. He's going to leave you alone. That's right. Because it's, you know, just being a nice guy is not really a threat, but when you're going out starting community groups and you're going out, doing things, kind of causing some havoc in a good way, expand the kingdom. Well, unfortunately there's spiritual warfare against you. I had a buddy mentor the other day, say if you're not creating fires, then you know, you're playing it too safe. You got to get out and make some aggressive moves. And so I get that completely

(21:40): Well. And I've said that I've actually used that in my business. Like, Hey guys, like if we're not coming into work everyday going, Whoa, I hope like we're not pushing hard enough. Like we're not, we're not pushing in, in the, in the same is true with this life. Like life should be lived kind of on the edge a little bit. Like why? So, because that's when we realized that it's God's strength that gets us through, you know, it sounds, again, it sounds cliche, but it's like, if everything is easy, then you don't need, you don't need the Holy spirit, you know? Like, but when it's like, I have no idea how this is going to pan out. You know, now we need the Lord, you know, to kind of come in and get us through it.

(22:15): Yeah. We're good on our hands and knees. Cause we've tried her. And that's part of like, what you're saying, I was thinking about is when I get frustrated is when I'm trying something, I'm pushing something and come to find out, I was kind of doing a, my way on my timing. I was impatient. And so it's just that reminder to me. And it's, I've actually been first Corinthians talks about that. We need that patient endurance to continue doing, you know, the will of God. And that's where I can get tripped up is sometimes I run out of patience and then sometimes am I doing the will of God or the will of Cory? Yeah, that's right. So it's that good reminder. So I think for both of us just to continue to, just to push, but with that patient, knowing that God's got a plan in time, thank you very much for listening to today's episode.

(23:05): I hope you are joining it so far before we go back to the rest of this episode. I want to share with you my book when at home first, some of you have read it. So thank you very much for others of you. You have not. And I encourage if you're looking for a resource to help you with these times of your work is now in your home and your home is now in your work and what this looks like. This book is being helpful to many leaders like you whores magazine said it was one of seven books. Everyone on your team should read in the book is broken up into four different sections to help you versus about you. Understand who you are. The second is marriage in ideas, tips to help

(23:46): With your marriage. Third is parenting and then last is work. So these four different sections to help you recalibrate during this time and to help move forward. So if you are needing additional resource, I encourage you to check out my book went home first. It is available on Amazon as well as audible and so on to the rest of the episode. Thank you very much. So we've talked

(24:11): Very beginning about when you went home first is really what will set you up for success. Yeah. How has that looked in your whole life? Unless you're just an amazing, perfect guy. You've had probably some missteps along the way, raising a young family and you know, as you climbed up the ladder at a bit [inaudible] what did that look like when you had it wrong and how were you able to, to come out of it and recalibrate for that listener? Who in that moment of, Oh, crap, I'm doing this wrong. I think the best way to describe it would be that I miss understood or incorrectly estimated what was needed of me at home. Right. I would think, Oh, home's great. You know, the kids are great. Wife's great. You know, I should spend more time focusing on the business and you know, you come to find out, well, that is not true.

(25:05): Like actually they needed you way more than you thought. And you know, then I'm kinda like shocked, you know, when I find out like, well, I thought everything was fine, you know? Like so when I've gotten it wrong, it's because in, in, there's probably, I'm not as innocent in that as it might sound like it's probably some sort of willful decision I make to try to, you know, get off the hook a little bit and be able to spend more time doing something where, you know, the benefits are more immediate or the recognition is more immediate, you know? Like I would never go more than a week at my business without having like a team meeting. It was right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But I'll go like a month without. Right. And, and not think anything of it at home. Absolutely. Right. You know, there are things that you would never do at work that just become kind of like, well, I think, you know, they don't need that from dad.

(25:59): You know, they don't need that. Yeah. When I get it right. It's when I'm, you know, I'm realizing, you know, what they, they need dad and dad has a really crucial role in this family and dad's got to show up every day, you know, and bring and bring, you know, what I can bring. And, and I don't think like that. Yeah. I mean, that's great things you never do at work. You know, we do at home when we all have direct reports and it's a guy that cadence that one-on-one time and at home, we just let that slip on the first things I do when I get a new client. Or even if I'm just talking with a friend, but it's, you know, how's marriage. And when was the last time we went on a date that's right. And it's like, Oh man, you know,

(26:44): It's been a while. And same thing for our kids talking with with a guy yesterday and he is not doing like those dates with his kids. And it's like, we've got to do that. Be present here. What's going on? Yes. I did something with Mike and I heard this, but Hey, kids on a scale from zero to 10, how am I as a dad? Where do I rank? Wow, give me the number. And then what would I need to do to get to attend? Love it? Well, it was awesome. It was humbling. And I still do it a few different times, but what was your score? Well, I kind of fluctuate, but I think my score was, you know, great. You're a great dad. You're a seven, but I'd tell you what they knew, how to speak to the, the shortage, the shortage for me.

(27:27): And you may actually have the same thing, you know, being a, you know, a strong leader and having a lot of things you want to kind of check off the box to get done. They, I said, well, I needed to be better. And they said, don't be so intense and coaching in the morning. I was like, wow. And so I get up at 5:00 AM and it's either go to the gym or I do my quiet time. And then they kind of flip flopped based on the day. So I've got this routine. Well, when I do either one of them, I I'm com seven I'm in I'm ready. Like kids. What's your vision values for your life? What's your plans for the day? Did you do your deep devotion? Like all over the top? They all realize it's the jumping jacks. And so one of the things would that be, go and get your 10, no hard conversations before noon.

(28:10): That's what my 12 year old daughters and then my eight year old son's right there. He's like, I agree. I agree. So that's the joke in our house. Like dad, that's 11, it's 1150 stop. Well, good on you that, you know, the issue, it was not an issue of passivity, but of, of being too aggressive. You know, most of us, we fail on the other side of that is that it's probably easier to pull back a little bit than it is to kind of get revved up, you know? So yeah. You know, and I go back and forth. I, and I know listeners do too, is it's, you know what, maybe your podcasts over here, you know, church sermon over here or something it's like, right. I got to go be that intentional fall. I got to go, go, go, go, go, do all these sayings.

(28:49): We get some roll dyes, we get some pushback. And then we over swing. We don't do anything for a week or a month or however long it goes. And I, and I think for that listener listening is this is all about recalibration. Just check yourself if you're too passive, all right, let's have some intentionality. If you're too high challenge, let's take our foot off the gas. Because what I don't want to do is put a B to I challenge that I turn them away from me, but also I turn away from God because we are people who don't like God anymore, because of some high dictator in their life. That's right. And this is where I don't know how it is with you in, in your wife. But this is where my wife is really helpful because she's sometimes that objective third-party for me to say, Hey, you got to like tone it down a little bit. Or, Hey, come on, you gotta ratchet up. You know, you hit the nail on the head. I can't you, how many times I've tried

(29:42): To do Bible studies with my kids in the morning and they're not paying attention, you know? And it drives you crazy. You know? It's like, well, this is important. And then you go, you know what, screw it. I'm not doing Bible studies anymore. You know, like,

(29:57): Yeah. I just do among us for the rest of your life, among us for nine. If that's what he thinks will get you in life.

(30:04): And Tara's always like, Hey, just calm. You don't have to like throw out the baby with the bath water. Like, you know, you don't have to read the Bible for 45 minutes. You know? Like you just, you can read it for two, you know, let's start baby steps here. You know, like

(30:18): If I don't have any time for that, I just say, just be the light, be the light to it. Got to go. See part of my story I talk about Lucas is handing over my story for a greater story, knowing parts of your overall story. You know, I, I know you got some moments like that, but I'd love to hear from you, as I say that today, you know, where have you had to hand over your smaller story for a greater story in your life?

(30:40): Well, yeah, I mean, I definitely had, let's say, you know, let's that language Kairos moment or chaos. It's like, I definitely had one of those early on in my life with, with Jesus and with my job and with all that kind of stuff. But I mean, Corey, I feel like I'm coming up to another one right now. I feel like these last, I don't know, six or seven years, I've had amazing people build into me and teach me amazing things about God and about work and about family. And, you know, I think I started to get into a little bit of that, you know, like I shared before the, the, the simple, comfortable Christian life and, you know, make sure my 401k is funded and make sure I got all my responsibilities. And if I make extra money, here's what I can invest it, you know?

(31:29): And again, those are all important things, but it was like, they started to become like the most important things, you know, just, you know, and, and I feel like God's kind of asking me, like, is that really the story you want? You know, like, or do you want, do you want to live on the front lines with me? Like, do you want to, do you want to, you know, I've been using this language. God's like, do you want to be a part of my business? You know, my businesses, right? It's like setting people free and it's like serving people and it's loving people, right. That you want to be a part of that business. Like you, because guess what, you know, cause here's what was happening. Well, you know, that sounds interesting. I'd love to do that. But man, I'm so busy. I mean, I love that sounds so cool.

(32:11): We should, you know, reach out to our neighbors and try to be like, man, we got so many young kids. We're just so we're so tired. Right? We, we kept coming up with all these reasons why not to do this stuff. And I feel like God's calling us right now and saying, Hey, do you want to trade that story in where you're overwhelmed and tired because you got so much going on in your life all the time for my business and my story, which is loving people, bringing people into my family and, and, and doing what I did when I was there. You know? And I want that story, you know, I'm actively, I would say, I think I'm right now in the middle of, okay. I'm handing over that story and saying, okay, God, we're in, like, let's start reorienting and reprioritizing and Tara and I are going through our schedule right now and saying, all right, we got to start getting this stuff out of here. That makes us feel like to add that stuff in would overwhelm us. Okay. If that's what's happening, then the other stuff's gotta go. You know, like, cause that's the stuff that's more important. And and I'm excited about it. And that's when I know, like it's a good,

(33:16): Yeah, that's good. What are some of the stuff you're saying no to,

(33:19): You know, I get asked, I get asked to lead things a lot. You know, I get asked to be a part of things a lot. I get asked to, you know, and I like saying yes, I like saying yes to that stuff. Even, you know, good stuff, leading, leading a discipleship thing with these guys are all kinds of stuff. We're trying to get like super laser focused right now. God has put us in this house, in this neighborhood, on this street and there are people all around me. Right. And there are people, like you said, there are people in my house right now. So anything that kind of doesn't, you know, and I'm trying not to be too radical with it. I think you can kind of, you know, get a little overboard, but I'm trying to be as, you know, as disciplined as I can with it. So pretty much anything that's pulling me outside of that sphere, I'm saying no to.

(34:06): Yeah. That's awesome. So what, what are you finding yourself saying yes. To, that's kind of new and then maybe you, you didn't really pay attention to earlier either. You said, yeah, it's kind of just by accident, but now what, what are some yeses that you and Tara is saying that are aligning with this bigger story?

(34:23): We have some neighbors that we have relationship with, but we've never actually like taken the next step with them. We've never like, Hey, come over for a dinner. You know, we've never, we've never done that. And we had a neighbor over the house her day and you know, she was talking about her kid was over and they were playing out in the yard and, and I heard my wife say, Hey, why don't you guys come over for dinner? And yes, that's it. That's what I'm gonna say yes. To like, like, let's start making those. And again, it's not big things here, right? I mean, this is like, this is like, Hey, it's our, it's our neighbors. It's, it's who we live next to, you know? Like, and so we're going to start saying yes to them and we're going to start saying yes to the people that God has put in our lives. Versus I think what we've done is who do we like, who do we want to come over? Yeah.

(35:13): We like, who looks like us and acts like us that's right. All right. Let's go find them. That's right before we lived in Cincinnati, lived in Denver and a pastor by the name of Jay Pathak did this sermon series. It turned it into a book, but on the cover of the book and it ended up being a big part of the series was a house and then all the houses around it and do you know their names, what they do, what they like. And then the, one of the, the more you know, kind of pointed questions is, do they know that, you know, and love Jesus. And it's like, Ooh, you know, and you know, that's, that's, that's just a great high challenge for all of us of, you know, getting back to the neighborhood thing. And you know, COVID made us all kind of realize we need to like our neighbors, cause we may not be going too far away from

(36:00): They're afraid. And we have the hope of the gospel. Like we, you know, we have that, you know, like, and they need it. You know, it's, again, it's not about like, you know, come to my church or agree with my doctrine. It's like, and think about God, the father, these are his children and in their loss, you know, and then there, and he wants them to know him and to be in this community, in this relationship that we have. And so that's, what's been getting me excited again, is not thinking about, okay, well, on what, on the third dinner do I have to do, I have to preach the gospel to them. And the second time I called them, do I have to quote a Bible verse? You need that formula. It's like, no, just, just to have a meal with them, you know, get to know them, talk to them, you know, dive in with them. People are hungry for this, you know, especially right now they're, they're, they're hungry and they're dying for it and we've got it. You know,

(36:54): That's good. I was talking to a guy yesterday who was talking to me similar to you with a a kid on the way. And we were kinda talking about seasons and almost excuses. No, I told him and just say with you to courage, you is, you know, every season is going to be excused and you know, right now you got that one year old and you've got a kid on the way. Well, in a year you're going to have a two year old and a infant. I mean, there's always an excuse. And so it's that encouragement is, you know, now's the time because, you know, instead of the season controlling you, you know, control the season. That's right. And so, you know, I say that's a encouragement to you as you press on as some new things, you know, this season. That's right. Thank you. What's the best way for listeners to get ahold of you?

(37:40): Well, that's a good question. Probably LinkedIn. Yeah. Yeah. I don't have any, like, I don't have Facebook or Instagram anymore, but yeah. Linkedin, you know, you can see me the [inaudible] dot com. You can see the business, you know, connect with me, shoot me a note. I'd love to chat.

(37:57): Why'd you get rid of Facebook and Instagram

(37:59): And stuff was killing me. Yeah. It was just, yeah,

(38:02): Well it's killing the whole country and world for that matter. And I've got my good days and I got my bad

(38:09): Man. I just, I, every time I noticed I was getting on there, I was getting angry. I was not liking people. I mean, you know, there used to be a time when you didn't know what people thought about everything, you know, and like, and it made it a lot easier to like people, if you didn't know their opinion on everything,

(38:24): How long ago did you stop those social media platforms?

(38:27): It's been, I mean, it's been a little while now, six months or something. Yeah. And I'm Corey, I have not missed it a bit really.

(38:36): I haven't missed it a bit. I have, you know, what I did is Mark Zuckerberg may find a way to mute that sentence because he doesn't want to stop usage at Facebook. Well, you know, we have, we still have the technologies. Right. So, you know, I, I have a, I have a text group with my family, my, my extended family. Right. So if I want to share a picture of the baby or, you know, I just share it to them. And I, and I get the, I get that connection from them. I have, I have other text groups with other buddies I'm on WhatsApp with some people I'm on box or with other people. So like, you know, the technology still works, but that the, the unfiltered, everybody just, you know, airing their grievances. It wasn't healthy for one for you. Yeah, no, I get it. Well, it's interesting, as we talked about earlier is the path of least resistance. Sometimes just put, picking up that phone. And so whether you're on 20 platforms or it's just YouTube, you could still just get sucked in. So it's that kind of encouragement to all of us. Hey, we just gotta, we gotta stand firm. That's right, man. Thanks so much. It was awesome to talk with you and just love what you're doing with your family and with the video and in this community. So thank you.

(39:40): Thank you, Corey. Appreciate it. Ma'am I want to thank you for listening to my podcast. When at home first, I am so grateful to hear from listeners like you, that this content has been helpful. So now I would love for you to pay it forward. I want to get this message in the hands of more listeners. We need leaders to be winning both at home and at work, especially during this time. So please take a minute to share this episode with somebody you think would find value in it, as well as rate and subscribe as a thank you, please visit my website @ corymcarlson.com to download a free resource that people are finding value in. Thank you very much.

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